MENT OR MALARIA? LOVE MAYBE

Just like every other day, I was outside my apartment cleaning my car. Just like every other day he rushed to lock his door and I watched him hide the keys in the flowerpot. Just like every other day, he started his car. But unlike every other day he stopped. My neighbour of two years spoke to me for the first time.

"I never got your name", he waved.

"Yomade"

"Alright Yomade, see you around". He smiled.

 The morning waves and smiles gradually became a thing. Then one day the routine changed. I heard a knock on my door. When I opened, he was in front of me with two bags of take out.

"Yomade. Hi. Uhmm I think I bought a little too much. So I was wondering if you'd like some", he said, raising a bag in my face. It was a lie. We both knew it. But I let him in anyway. We ate and chatted for hours. Sitting so close to him made me realise the phrase "God dey create" was not exaggerated. George was a Spec abeg!

Not only was he charming, he had a beautiful face too. He smelled really good and to live in this kind of apartment meant you were financially well off. On top of that, he sounded very smart and was broadminded. He complimented my apartment's look, never missed a chance to hint me he was attracted. Overall he was a great company.

"Yomade. Guess it's a goodnight. So see you when I see you....", 

'When I see you', was the next day. It was on a Friday. He invited me out to dinner. "A friendly dinner. Just to cool off", he said. That too became regular. Friendly Friday dinners to cool off.

I met a couple of his friends a few times. They were really nice people. Soon my name changed from 'Yomade' to 'our wife'. I asked George why they did that but he told me not to bother about it. About that time, he was sleeping over a lot at my apartment. We were getting close, too close for just friends.

"Yomade, I like you a lot and I'd like you to be mine", he said one night over dinner at his place. Of course I agreed. I saw nothing bad in it. Besides, George was just the best person to explore life with. And honestly, that was one of the happiest nights of my life.

Our relationship went on for over five months. We were happy. I was glowing. My friends could attest to that. I was glowing so much I started to feel sick every morning. It was it.

I decided to tell him but little did I know he had other news for me.

"Yomade. I'm married", I felt the ground below me shake furiously. Something turned in my stomach and it wasn't my baby. I couldn't believe my ears.

George was married. My baby's father was married. My desire was taken. Was i just some pass time? I'd barely known this guy for a year and I was already carrying his child. Did I sell myself too cheap? Was I so desperate to be with a man that I couldn't read between the lines? What was I going to tell everyone? What was I going to tell my parents? What was I going to tell my child?

These questions would have eaten me up if only I hadn't seen this coming. But I did. The struggle trying to take off his wedding band before getting to my place, the extra bottle of a woman's perfume I saw in his room. I knew all these but chose to ignore. If you ignore it, it'll go away right? No! Because this one was sitting right in my face. I was mad at myself but not much as my heart sank in my chest. Hurt. Pain. Reality. 

Maybe the truth from his mouth was all I needed to snap out of this delusion I called happiness.

"Yomade, I'm so sorry. I was going to tell you sooner. Trust me. It's you I love. I was forced into the marriage. I'm getting a divorce", he cupped my face and planted a soft kiss on my head. 

He did that whenever I was angry and like always, it worked. All the anger and hurt I felt left immediately his lips disconnected from my forehead. I was not ready to throw all we had built away just like that. It was fixable. It was something a divorce would easily fix.

"Yomade, I love you. I love you and the baby". That wasn't a lie and I knew that because I could feel it. The tenderness of his lips and the way he wrapped his arms around me, holding me so close like he was scared I'd break loose from him. Of course I wasn't going to. I loved him too.

At the start of my third trimester, George was still a married man. But he had proposed and the divorce was in process, so we were fine.

"Can you die for me?"

"Where's that one coming from?", I had just woken up from sleep that night.

"From that...", He pointed to the TV in my room. I dragged myself up from the bed. I needed a glass of water. There was none in the room so I headed down the stairs. More like I rolled down the stairs. I wasn't sure if my water had broken or if it was a spill but the great pain I was in was definitely real.

For the first few seconds I saw everything in pairs. There was a loud buzz ringing in my head. My head was heavy. My whole body was heavy. I yelped and screamed but no help came. George was not in sight or maybe he was and I couldn't see him because of my blurred vision. I managed to turn to my side. I was scared for my baby.

"Yomade, what happened? How did you fall? Hang in there. I'll call for help", he took my phone off the ground and placed it to his ears. Straining my eyes, I saw his mouth move. My whole body ached. I searched his hands with mine for solace but he pushed it away. He was so busy trying to get help and I was there disturbing him. But I was in so much pain! 

He stayed a while on the phone and all I could think about was how he'd survive without me and our baby. I silently prayed to remain alive for his sake.

"Yomade, the ambulance will be here soon. Remember I love you so much", he kissed my forehead, a kiss just as cold as his words, picked up his bag and left. Never to return again.

Minutes felt like eternity waiting for the ambulance he never called. My strength was waning. There was little to nothing I could do. I was dying but I wasn't dying alone. I was leaving the world with another life that didn't deserve any of these. 

I couldn't thank my guardian angel enough when Debbie's call came in. She pulled my baby and I away from the grip of death. We owe our lives to her.

And that night was the last I'd seen and heard from George. I still find it hard to believe he left me to die like that. He left me with a scar, a deep ugly scar and a beautiful gift to soothe the pain. Funny right?

Whenever I see OluwaShindara's face, I'm reminded of her father. I know I should hate him with all of me, with I have but at times I can't help but think of what could have been. Even after knowing he spilled the water, I still think if we had met in a different circumstance he could have been a good father. He could have been the best husband.

But these thoughts make me wonder,

"Yomade, is this ment or malaria?"

Love maybe.