Eyes That Wanders

It was a cold evening. Everyone had to be in Church for the midweek service. I for once never had an interest in such activities, but consequences were inevitable if I did miss service. As usual, I went with my very good friend who would always sit away from me. She had other responsibilities to fulfil as a church worker while I disappeared into the pews with other students.

I would wander in mind and eyes, taking note of everyone who graced the church with their enigmatic presence; plain as the sea, yet turbulent underneath. I would wonder what their life was like as school could be a daunting place to be in.

I admired a few because their polished appearance would signify their life was well in order. Some seemed cold and mysterious, and some looked eerily indifferent.

Each time I stared with disdain, I had to remind myself not to judge a book by its cover, but it struck me that the true Pharisees might be here: The Preacher and I.

Pastor Nathan, a man in his thirties, was popular among students for his staunch religious beliefs. One would think the large scar on his forehead is evidence of being a Crusader in his past life. His messages were always filled with comparisons of different Christian denominations. As a theologian, it was expected.

He never missed an opportunity to call out sinners, igniting ripples of murmurs among students during service. I had always found his messages overwhelming as every point he made carried an air of judgment towards others.

Yet, I couldn’t help but feel indifferent, knowing I was guilty of the same transgression with my wandering eyes and mind. I held onto the hope that Heaven would not cast me into condemnation for indulging in my side pleasures of judging His Creatures, so I continued.

As the service started, students hastily steered into available seats in the pew; some sat in groups, and some sat alone. The worship session had barely begun when an unfamiliar face walked in. My eyes rested on him. His aura was unique, setting him apart from the usual faces I encountered at service. I wondered where this stranger had been all this while. My eyes widened, absorbing every detail of his striking presence: tall and broad, with dark, handsome features and strides that exuded an effortless grace.

"Quite a mystery," I whispered.

My gaze lingered like a fishing line cast into still waters, yet it proved too fleeting to ensnare the elusive mystery of this fish. I watched him intently as he slipped into the pews across. Quickly, I averted my eyes feigning ignorance of how I had stared him down into oblivion. The worship session reeled me back to reality, pulling me from the depths of my thoughts where I had unravelled the tapestry of his life. It wasn’t love at first sight; it was simply curiosity.

As the preacher began his message, my eyes often darted back at him, and my mind raced.

“1 John 2:16”, the Preacher retorted.

"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world", he read.

“Oh please!” I annoyingly muttered.

It felt as if I was publicly accused of harbouring impure intentions.

“How could I ever entertain such thought in the House of God?” I mused.

As the service drew to a close, all that filled my mind was unravelling this mystery sitting across the pew from me. Though I was bold in mind, my body remained shy and hesitant. As he walked out of the pew, three female students swarmed around him like flies to light. At that moment, I knew it was time to give up on my newfound curiosity. I sat back while I scrolled through my phone as a distraction from the defeating sight I just witnessed. My fleeting thoughts could not fathom how I overlooked the fact that such guys were nothing more than players. His build said it all, but curiosity got the best of me.

In an attempt to distract myself from my unhinged thoughts, I walked out of the Chapel to seek solace in the fleeting crowd outside its walls. There, I found myself keenly observing every student who passed by, along with groups formed in animated conversations. The sight of couples was quite nerve-wracking; it stirred a sense of envy within me, a stark reminder of my solitary existence. Yet, I would say it was less of envy and more of a yearning for love and companionship; a longing that lingered in the depths of my heart.

“Beyi!”, Majeed called out.

I waved as he climbed the staircase that stood between us. I had noticed him earlier, surrounded by his group of friends as I stepped out of church.

“I saw you standing alone lost in thoughts. Your solitude was quite a shadow over the nearby trees and it seems the clouds must be weeping at such a desolate sight”, Majeed jeered.

In response, I gave his shoulders a violent nudge as he hurried away.

“Such insolence!”, I retorted. I looked up and saw that rain had begun to drizzle. It was a cold evening, but the change in weather was unexpected.

As I leaned on the barrier in front of the church, waiting for my friend, my mind began to drift. Majeed has been one of my sources of comfort in School, a bond that has only grown deeper since our childhood. I know you must be thinking, but it wasn’t fate that brought us to the same school. Our parents have known each other since we were little. When I was 5, his biological mother became my mom and Majeed became the brother I never had. As I pondered, a flash of lightning jolted me back to reality, my heart raced causing me to fumble to grasp my phone. I stayed calm as the petrichor in the air eased my nerves.

“You know, I saw you staring” a resonating and comforting voice said.

My mind raced as I turned to uncover the source of such inviting presence behind me.

“It’s him!”, I mused while my nerves misfired as I scrambled to speak.

There he stood beaming with a warm smile. In those fleeting moments, my eyes took in every detail it could capture. Far beyond his striking presence, his aura was comforting like the gentle caress of a cool breeze on a warm day.

At that moment, I recognized my curiosity with certainty; this is love at first sight.

“Who wouldn’t stare?”, I remarked playfully.

He flashed a cheeky grin revealing his naturally crafted, off-white teeth. “Besides, I have never seen you in church”, I defended.

“Never seen me or simply failed to notice I was there?” he replied with a smirk, a playful glint in his eye.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Beyi. I’m Benjamin, by the way”.

He must have noticed the shock written all over my face. I couldn’t tell if it was the wordplay or the fact that he knew my name, but something about it tugged at my heart. I was curious to ask how he knew, but I felt he wouldn’t reveal.

“Nice to meet you Benjamin” I replied, my words tinged with a hint of blush I couldn’t fight back.

As our conversation continued, Majeed caught a glimpse of us across the lawn and flashed a sheepish smirk. As he walked towards us, I gave him a pointed look signaling the playful taunt I knew was coming.

“Ah, finally, the trees seem to flutter at such warming sight of companionship” he teased, passing by with a knowing grin.

I smiled, unfazed, as we continued our conversation like long lost lovers rediscovering the comfort of a familiar company.