I'm sat here with a bowl of pineapple, eating away and thinking to myself, "What the hell do I wanna do with my life?"

Well, the answer isn't as easy as picking a fruit from the bowl. It's more like standing in front of a buffet where everything looks delicious, and you're told you can only choose one dish.

I've introduced myself with different titles this week alone, changed my LinkedIn headline about a million times because I often get confused about which particular skill to highlight. It's hard to pick from my pool of multiple skill sets because I want to apply all of them. My poor LinkedIn connections must think I'm having some sort of identity crisis. On Monday, it was "Creative Storyteller & Content Writer." Tuesday, they saw "Creative Marketer | Content Strategist | Product Marketer." Wednesday, it became "Just a human being trying to figure it all out, honestly."

Sigh.

In primary school, I was convinced I was gonna become a singer/songwriter, but as soon as I entered secondary school and joined the drama club, I added acting to the list of ‘Things I Wanna Be’ in the back of my jotter, and thought that was going to be it. Sadly, my parents didn't care about my aspirations or talents and instead prompted me to study something medical-related because according to them, it's a "proper profession." (Cue eye roll and dramatic sigh worthy of my drama club days.)

Well, now that I'm done with school, I know for a fact I won't be pursuing that. Instead, I plan on revisiting my first passions: singing and acting. But now there are a few new additions (okay I lied, there's a lot!).

I used to write short storybooks in secondary school (converted my extra 40 leaves notebooks into my escape universes) and exchange them with my friends—proper old-school style, passing notebooks between classes like contraband. I had discovered my love for creative writing through English comprehension and essay exercises. Now I'm sitting on potential story plots for novels, but at the same time, I wanna make them movies too. So now I’m not sure whether to write it in prose or script, because apparently, my brain doesn't understand the concept of "one thing at a time.”

Then there's my podcast idea (multiple podcast ideas, if we're being honest) and talk shows too that I want to create. And everything is just so... ugh!!! It's like having a browser with 50 tabs open, all playing different music, and somehow they're all your favorite song. Which brings me to this: I don't have a favorite anything either. I've never understood people who go hard for one artist or one song, because I go hard for many artists and many songs! I'm the worst person to ask to choose between Davido and Wizkid because I actually like them both.

Some people have it easy—they know what they want and they stick by it no matter what. They're the ones who knew they wanted to be veterinarians at age five and never wavered. They're the ones with straight paths and clear destinations. Not me. This multidimensional nature of mine is haunting—beautiful, yes, but overwhelming in equal measure. A little direction here wouldn't hurt, tbh.

Perhaps that's the thing about being multi-passionate—am I meant to follow a straight path? Is zigzagging through life really how I want to spend this lifetime? I mean, it sounds harsh, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I wish it were like straight-cut jeans, unlike a fancy designer palazzo with unnecessary flares and bedazzlement. I'm not sure whether I hate how every day brings new interests, new possibilities, and new versions of myself I could become. It's exhausting and exhilarating, terrifying and thrilling.

Obviously, I'm not the only one in the world who was born like this. But I can't help thinking about what would happen if I just pick one path and stick to it.

What if we're not meant to choose? What if being unable to choose is actually our superpower? But I'm low-key, high-key scared of getting burnt out from juggling so many careers and passions at once. But at the same time, I don't want to be boxed into one thing. I actually want to be known for many things, even if they contrast.

So here I am, bowl of pineapple nearly finished, no closer to having it all figured out. But maybe that's okay. Maybe the point isn't to figure it all out, but to embrace the beautiful chaos of wanting to do everything and be everything.

After all, who said we can't be a singer-songwriter-actor-writer-filmmaker-podcast-host who occasionally writes blog posts about not knowing what to do with their life?

To be continued... (because of course, this story isn't finished—there are still so many things I want to try!)

°°°°°

Hey, dear reader, thanks for reading this extremely personal entry. This is gonna be a reflective series going forward. I know the title is longer than normal, but think of it like a Lana Del Rey album title lol.

I'm thinking of making this a weekly entry (God help me stay consistent with this one), but I guess time will tell. If you like it, I'll put out more. I'm challenging myself to think out loud this year and start putting my thoughts out in the open because I know there's someone out here who will resonate with my experiences, and that's who I want in my tribe.

Anyways, if you enjoyed this read, kindly leave a comment, like, and share with fellow multi-passionates like me 😄

See you in the next one. Take care!