Solomon said, ‘Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it.’

I wonder if he’d ever met fire. The kind of fire that burns like buckets of ice descending from a height.

Maybe ice didn’t exist in Biblical times. Maybe the floods of fire that raged until my heart was an empty shell only came to be when I willed it so. Does that make me an inventor perhaps?

‘Miss Esther.’

My attention was drawn back to the present. The counsellor looked at me expectantly and I realized I’d been asked a question. ‘I’m sorry, ma. Please repeat the question.’

She sighed and tapped the pen she held in her well-manicured fingers on her notepad. I wondered when I’d have the time to get a manicure. No, not the time, the desire.

‘Why exactly are you here?’ I heard her this time, and pretended to consider the question. Pretended, because pretence was all I had left. Take that away, and I’d crumble to dust.

‘I already told him. I cannot get married to him. Maybe if he hears it from you, he’ll snap out of his state of denial.’ I made deliberate eye contact with him as I spoke, hoping he’d finally listen and let me go. It wasn’t like he’d ever really had me, and his holding on was working my last nerve.

‘Mr. Daniel.’

‘Dan.’ I corrected by reflex. ‘His name is Dan. As in Isaac’s fifth son. Just Dan. Not Daniel.’

‘Oh, so you care enough to correct my name when wrongly said, but not to marry me?’ Dan’s first words since we stepped into the office were tinted with pain, yet, I could detect the plea in his eyes.

I sighed and looked back at the counsellor. ‘Like I said, maybe if he hears it from you.’

‘Esther, I don’t know why you’ve decided to be unreasonable. This is unlike you. I know you. You’re kind, gentle…’

I let Dan’s voice fade into the background as he continued describing a ghost. A façade I built but was tired of. I focused instead on the cactus in the counsellor’s office. The curtains that danced in the breeze. The clock.

I watched as the second hand chased the minute hand, only briefly making contact before it had to leave again. I watched as the minute hand ignored the second hand and chased the hour hand, an even more draining chase with more time between each contact.

If Dan was the second hand, I was the hour hand. As for the minute hand…

‘Miss Esther.’ The counsellor’s voice drew me out of my reverie. ‘It seems you aren’t with us.’ She was right on that count. I hadn’t been with anybody for a very long time.

‘Do you perhaps want to speak? At least make us understand why you want to walk away from Dan. Your wedding is scheduled to hold in a week. All the refunds…’

‘I already said I’ll handle everything. Money isn’t an issue.’

‘Esther, money is refundable, but you still hold my heart. I don’t know how possible it is to get that back but please, talk to me. We can work something out.’ Dan made to hold me but I stood up before his hand could make contact.

I walked towards the curtains beside the table with the cactus. I stared at the clock and it stared right back. My ring finger moved, as though of its own volition, to the cactus. It didn’t stop till it made contact, and blood coloured it.

‘Miss Esther!’ The counsellor sounded shocked, and for the first time that day, I smiled. I watched the blood curiously. Proof that somehow, I was still on Earth's plane.

‘I’m sorry, Mrs. Phillips.’ I looked back at Dan, his shoulders drooped in defeat. ‘Look, if I speak, if I tell my story, do you promise to leave me alone?’

‘You can’t ask that of me my heart.’ He made to stand up. ‘Don’t come near me! If you do not give me a verbal agreement that my story ends this futile dance, I will walk away from this office, and you can keep following me around like a wounded puppy.’ Harsh? Maybe. But he needed to get a grip.

The pain in Dan’s eyes were replaced by rage. Seems there was finally some progress. ‘Fine! Go on with your story, Esther. Go on, tell me what you’ve done with the love of my life and how you became this monster, and I’ll leave you alone. Go on.’

‘Mr. Dan!’

‘No, he’s right ma’am. I’m glad we have an agreement. You want to know just how much you don’t know me? I’ll tell you. First of all, my name is not Esther.’

Their shocked expressions were satisfactory, and I smiled again. Two smiles in a day? An impressive feat.

I stared at the clock again, wondering if I could steal it, wondering what my next name would be, and began my tale of woe.