“Life’s hard mehn” i muttered as i stepped into the bar. So much struggles for such little life. Not so little, but you know what I mean.

 “Waiter!” I called out quite loudly, across the well lit room, adorned with a dangling chandelier, which appreciated the paintings on the white wall, kinda made me wonder if this was originally an art gallery.

“How can we help you sir” a voice disrupted my wandering mind. “Can I get a glass of champagne please?” “Right away, sir”.

I couldn’t help but notice the perfect dentition that flashed alongsides the curt, enticing smile cut across the chubby chin of the waitress who stood before me. “What a beauty” I muttered in soliloquy “Sorry? do you need anything else, sir?” The waiter asked with slight confusion caressing the expression on her face. “No, not at all, I wouldn’t mind a smile tho” she blushed, letting out a shy chuckle. “Okayyy, my game is not so rusty afterall” I thought. Yea, lots of things go through my head, can’t help it.

I decided, it was high time I flirtatiously fiddled around, she may end up being my wife, who knows? I quickly tried to imagine how ethereal our children would look. With the kind of beauty she possessed? They’d be unstoppable.

 While patiently awaiting her arrival, I began to practice lines that would work faster than what the northerners call ‘kayamata’. I watched her sway her waist elegantly across the room, those uniforms were no match for the pulchritude I beheld. Legs so straight, you’d think they were formed using a ruler. Trust me, I’m not exaggerating.

I noticed a man across the room at the extreme,by a corner who gazed blankly at my woman, I couldn’t understand what it was all about, but it was definitely not of admiration. I’m psychologically inclined.

“Here’s your drink sir” “oh, thank you” I said with a sly smile, lingering a light hold on her fingers as she dropped the cup. I noticed her fingers were fidgety and o boy, I couldn’t help but think of how handsome I must have looked to make her so nervous or? She wasn’t even looking at me! Her gaze was on the man by the corner, at the extreme. A thrill of jealousy enveloped me, it heightened when I watched this man walk down to my table.

He stared so intensely at my ‘woman’, I watched helplessly, slowly letting go of her fidgety fingers. I didn’t know if I was to be a ‘man’ and stand up to say something, but what would I say? “Hey young man, don’t harass my woman”?

“You… you…” “this man finally says something and he’s a stammerer”? I thought, getting weary of the drama that had turned everyone’s attention to my table…

He turned to me, confused, saying “I know this girl”… “believe me”… “you know her, ehen?” Oga talk nau… the suspense was highly unappreciated at this point, he seemed so discombobulated, and in between breathe ins and breathe outs, he managed to say “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her, something seemed off… I thought you were dead”… “I am dead” she retorted.

Ye!