The danfo broke down right in the middle of the bridge; at least it was by the railing and not on the middle lane. I knew there was no chance of making the interview since I was already late.

I was seated right at the back of the bus which was stuffed with enough passengers to get us all arrested if we were in a sane country. Someone's elbow dug into my side and I could feel the heavy breath of the man behind me on my neck. Why he was seated so close to me, I didn't know but what I knew was he most likely had a medical condition as that seemed to be the only reason for such laboured breathing.

My white starched shirt was stained with my sweat and I suspected, others' sweat too. I had to iron it at a friend's house since NEPA (which is actually PHCN but that doesn’t have a nice ring to it) decided to play with the light switch and the queue at the fuel station was too long and its members too frustrated to risk it or to even become a funny anecdote later.

I could feel more beads of sweat slowly running down my back and eventually getting soaked by my shirt. A child started crying in front while someone else began a phone call in very loud Igbo which sounded like it was becoming an argument. I reminded myself I needed to buy plantain chips on my way back for Tola, the ones sold in plastic jars. Sure, it was getting expensive but I just couldn't say no to my little girl, besides she did really well in that test she took last week.

A metallic knocking sound had me wondering how I was going to get home since it looked like the bus’s engine had given up. I had no extra money with me which was odd since that was my number one rule. My mum drilled it into my head: "Never leave the house without vex money". However, today was an exception as I only budgeted for transport money and plantain chips. I didn't budget for the bus breaking down on the bridge. Tola would understand.

The driver, conductor and one or two passengers were gathered under the hood of the bus fiddling with the parts that could be fiddled with. Bolts were probably tightened, the oil and water checked and that metallic sound had to be someone hitting the spark plugs to make them more secure or something.

Some passengers had come down to escape the stifling stale bus air. I sorry-ed and excused myself to the door amidst pursed lips, sighs and bad looks, narrowly missing someone's toes, and finally made it out. Those who came out earlier had the right idea.

I walked to the railing and looked out at the expanse beneath me

I could see the fishermen casting nets from their canoes, fading in and out of the morning fog. I could smell the salt from the ocean which made me wonder how strong it would be if I was in one of those canoes. I had stopped sweating and my shirt was dry; I should have come out earlier.

The sounds of the attempt to fix the bus and the grumbling of the passengers slowly faded away as I gazed at the sea. The wind whipped all around me, making my tie flap around distractingly. I was trying to contemplate the meaning of my life and the tie wasn't helping so I slipped it off intending to stuff it into my pocket. The wind had other plans. It snatched the tie from my grip and I could do nothing as I watched it float towards the ocean. It was a calming sight actually.

Its descent was gentle, peaceful and it made me long for that feeling. If my thoughts could have been heard, I would have been labelled a mad man. I longed to be weightless, at peace, have no purpose, to be able to just drift mindlessly without being crushed by guilt. I longed to just "be" without actually "being"

That was when I made my choice.

I was tired. I could just let go. Nothing was stopping me. I had earned the right to rest. The interviewer I never met would understand. Tolu would understand.

At that moment, I knew I was truly insane.

I gripped the railing and hoisted myself up. It felt like the wind was helping me; even nature approved. No one noticed. Good. I climbed to the other side and almost slipped. Laughter burst out; I didn't know why but I felt happier than ever.

Then the shouts began. Some pointed while others ran towards me. A few brought their phones out. I couldn't stop laughing. Someone started praying. I laughed harder. I could feel it, the beginning of weightlessness.

I couldn't let them stop me, not when I was almost there. I was so close; I could reach it in a few seconds.

I looked out towards the ocean. It beckoned me. Who was I not to answer?

I stood up straight and stretched out my arms.

With a smile,

I jumped.

God would understand.