Introduction: The Weight of Expectations

This is my story of learning to navigate the pressures that come with identity and the courage it takes to live authentically in a world that’s quick to box you in

Growing up, I never quite fit the mold others expected of me. It wasn’t that I was actively rebelling.I was just being me. But for many, that wasn’t enough. I was always seen through the lens of what I "should be" instead of who I truly was. The looks, the whispers, the unasked-for assumptions they all piled on. People would make comments about how I presented myself, about what my appearance "meant," and they didn’t hesitate to assume my sexual orientation based on the most superficial details.

The first time someone labeled me as LGBTQ, I was shocked. Not because I found the label offensive but because it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my truth. Yet, there I was trapped in a role I didn’t sign up for. It was strange to feel like I had to "defend" myself, to correct others’ assumptions about my identity, and to constantly explain that their label didn’t define me.

Labels are powerful. They can be empowering or destructive, depending on how they’re used. For some, a label can be a source of identity, pride, and community. For me, the label people put on me felt like a burden….. an unwanted pressure that I couldn’t escape. I was constantly reminded that people saw me in ways that didn’t align with my true self.

The weight of these labels made me question who I was supposed to be. Was I supposed to conform to their expectations, or was I allowed to forge my own path? The pressure was intense, and it seeped into my daily life, affected even my exams in school affecting how I interacted with others, how I viewed myself, and how I navigated the world. I can say that when this pressure was on I had some people fighting for me and some later sat back hoping I’ll feel guilty.

As time passed, I felt torn between what others thought of me and who I knew myself to be. It wasn’t just about being mislabeled as LGBTQ

it was about the broader societal expectations placed on me. Whether it was career choices, relationships, or even how I dressed, talking about how I dressed I feel that was why everything seemed subject to scrutiny. And with that scrutiny came an internal battle: should I push back and insist on my truth, I asked myself or should I go along with what people believed? That was tough but okay I sat thinking and crying I almost lost myself

The constant pressure to meet others expectations left me feeling exhausted. I questioned myself more than ever before. Did people truly know me, but at some certain point I didn’t care or were they just projecting their own ideas onto me? The struggle between wanting to fit in and wanting to be true to myself was relentless I was so lost and didn’t understand what I was feeling

At some point, something in me shifted. I realized that the labels, the assumptions, and the pressure they were never really about me. They were reflections of other people's insecurities, fears, and need to categorize the world into neat little boxes. I wasn’t the problem the problem was the way society imposed its narrow views on individuals like me.

I began to reject the labels outright. It wasn’t that I ignored how people saw me, but I stopped letting it define my actions, my thoughts, or my identity. I decided to live on my own terms, even if that meant confusing people or stepping outside their comfort zones. The truth was, I couldn’t live for them. I had to live for me. That’s what I stood by and it helped.

One of the hardest aspects of breaking free from labels is the ongoing pressure to conform. Even after I made the choice to live authentically, the expectations didn’t magically disappear. There were still moments when I’d catch myself slipping into old patterns, trying to please others, or avoid uncomfortable conversations about identity.

But every time I felt that old pressure crawling back, I reminded myself of one thing: I am not here to fit into anyone’s life. The world will always have opinions or like we sag people must always talk no matter what you do, but those opinions do not have to control how I live my life. Conforming to others’ labels would mean sacrificing my own sense of self, and that’s a price I wasn’t willing to pay.

Once I let go of the pressure to meet everyone else’s expectations, I finally began to discover who I truly was. This journey wasn’t about rejecting the LGBTQ community no shade over those set of people tho or any other group I have nothing but respect for those who embrace their labels with pride. For me, it was about finding my own truth, unfiltered by society’s assumptions.

My identity is not fixed or constant, but it is personal. It doesn’t fit into any box, and that’s okay. The most interesting part of this journey was realizing that I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone. My life, my choices, and my identity were mine alone to define and they are still mine.

you can create your world you know

so try it and see how it feels like