I was unsettled, pacing around in an endless loop. I interlaced my fingers like I wanted to say a prayer. I could not find words to accurately articulate my thoughts. I struggled to tune out the noise of voices colliding in my head.

I hit my head, hoping for a reset and a cord to connect my head to my mouth so I could speak freely. I had only one wish‒an audio reenactment of the scenes my eyes had recorded and my brain had stored.

She was getting impatient. 

‘Ivy, what’s wrong?’

The day was Wednesday, my favorite day of the week(partly because it’s the ‘weekend of the midweek’ and partly because good things always happen to me on Wednesdays). The morning was perfect by all my metrics—slow, warm and sunny.

I woke up on the best side of the bed. I slept in and decided it was my morning by 11am after surfing the web till 2:30am. I put my room in shape and had a warm shower. I did my morning facial routine ; cleanse-tone-hydrate-moisturize-protect, in that particular order. I got into a lounge wear and headed to the kitchen. My body’s batteries were literally charged with almost nine hours of sleep, so that did not give me an excuse to have a quick breakfast of overnight oats I had stowed away in the fridge. 

‘Not today’–for I knew it was going to come in handy sooner than later –as I was lazy every other morning. I checked my pantry for flour, evaporated milk, eggs and decided it was a pancake morning. The craving had indeed lingered.

I plated a serving of fluffy pancakes, Greek yogurt, blueberry jam and scrambled eggs. I giggled like a child while eating, intermittently saying “yum yum” whilst smiling from cheek to cheek. I picked up my phone to check my mail and socials, but to my dismay the battery was low. I recounted the events in my head and walked to the socket where I ‘plugged’ my phone. 

‘I picked up the phone, plugged the charger to the socket, and plugged the other end to my phone.’ I said that to myself three more times. 

And that was when it hit me. I had missed a critical, if not, the most important step. I indeed plugged my phone with sleepy eyes but did not switch on the socket. Of course, I had also not waited to hear the charging sound before going to bed. I shook my head in disbelief. The power supply in my community was unpredictable and I did not have a power bank or a generator to augment. I also did not speak to my neighbors, who had an uninterrupted supply of power with their generators and solar inverters, and I had shot myself in the foot.

 I could have quickly fixed this problem with a “Hello! Good day. How are you doing? Please, can you help me charge my phone?’ laced with a super smiling face and warmth in my voice. My phone would go from 0-100, but no, I was too proud.

 ‘I would rather die,’ I said instead, with no hope in sight to charge my phone. 

I decided I was going to Naya’s. Naya was my best friend. She lived on the other side of town. She was blessed to stay in a self-sufficient estate and so she did not have power issues to worry about. I was too lazy to leave the house at that moment, so I decided to take a nap.

 ‘So much for a perfect morning’, I sighed and collapsed on the bed. I struggled to fall asleep, who wouldn’t after drowning myself in sleep for that long.

‘Nothing a little day-dreaming can’t fix,’ I said to myself, for day-dreaming was my ticket to escape reality. I pictured myself on a yacht, ‘wearing a thong but not shaking my ass.’  The sound of the waves clapping against each other was satisfying. The view—magnificent; the air—clean and crisp. I was enjoying a tropical drink from a freshly carved coconut husk when I heard my dying phone ring. I was hesitant to take the call, for fear the phone was going to die on the call. Loud knocks followed soon after. I knew it was her. I checked the caller I.D. to confirm. I was right. She never called before coming and was fortunate enough to always meet me at home. I complained regularly before she started calling, but only when she was at the door. 

‘I was just in the neighborhood’. 

‘How can you just happen to be in my neighborhood? Across town? One day, you will call at the door and I will either not be at home or simply not open the door.’

‘I know you know that I know your threats are empty,’ she would say, hugging me and storming into my room. ‘I am not here for fun and games. I didn’t miss you or your pretty face. I came to drag you out of the house. Teddy is hosting games at his place. I don’t want to be there alone. You have to be with me. You can’t say no’. 

Teddy was her boyfriend. I did not like him. She knew, he knew, I only pretended to get along with him. She loved him for reasons best known to her.  

‘But I don’t have anything to wear.’

‘Darling, you know I have a vagina as well, or have you forgotten how to lie? Just sit there, I will get you something to wear’, she said heading to my wardrobe.

 I grudgingly joined her. We went from ‘not today’ to ‘this top makes you look fat’ to ‘this pair of jeans is not doing justice to your body’ to ‘we are not going to the club’ before settling for ‘this is it’. I wore my favorite ‘strolling wig’, for I named all my wigs by occasion. Finally, to cross my T’s and dot my I’s I put on my go-to lavender fragrance and wore oversized dark shades while singing Ladipoe’s Big Energy. She joined and we went :

♪♪♫

Big Energy

Big Energy,

When I come through big energy

Dark shades on no dey see enemy. ♪♪♫

 ‘Naya, we can't visit our host empty handed. I want to order some party essentials: a platter of hors d’oeuvre, packs of chocolate and cookies, as well as alcoholic and fizzy drinks from my plug on the ‘gram. It takes about two hours on the average for her to deliver. We will leave when they arrive. Please, I will use your phone. Please, you will also help me with the transfer. I will reimburse you, when my phone is charged.

 ‘Hmmm, is it really courtesy or you are finally accepting him and you are presenting a peace offering?’ 

‘Leave me alone. You know you won’t love to hear my opinion about ‘your Teddy’, I quipped.

I slept off while waiting for the ‘courtesy-or-peace-offering-or whatever-it-was. She woke me up with news of the arrival of the party essentials. She booked a ride and we set out.

The ride to his place was long and annoying as we were stuck in traffic for a little over two hours. While I sat in silence almost bored to death, she spent more than half of the journey talking to a client on the phone. I was tired, irritated and so I resorted to throwing tantrums.

‘I am booking a ride back home once we arrive at his place,’ “I think my blouse is stained,’ ‘I am sweaty.’

All were false, but one, I was indeed sweaty as the driver put off his car for a long time when the traffic was at a standstill. Not receiving any attention from her, I went on whining like a little puppy. She looked at me, shook her head and looked away.

‘You are ignoring me right?’ I asked, rolling my eyes.

‘You are such an overgrown baby,’ she said. ‘Ok, don’t worry, I will bribe you.’

‘With what?’

‘Don’t worry about reimbursing me.’

‘You speak my love language! I will stay only because you asked me nicely and in my language.’ 

I pulled her into a bear hug and remained there.

The traffic finally cleared and the rest of the journey went smoothly. 

‘We are here and it’s time to put on your “bad-bitch-face’’', she announced.

She paid the driver off and asked him to come pick us in a few hours. We walked into the house and met a rave. An arrangement that she thought was planned for ten-twelve people had maxed out to fifteen, twenty, thirty, I could not even keep a head-count. My countenance changed. I hated being in enclosed spaces with a lot of people, unfamiliar faces at that. She sensed it and held my hands. As we struggled to comb through the crowd to find a place to sit, countless pairs of eyes followed us. I could feel their prolonged stares even without having to turn my head. We failed to secure seats, so we found a wall to lean on instead. In a sorry attempt to keep eyes off of us, we warmly greeted people around us, but our smiles were a little too fake, not that I cared. They were not part of my clan; they were hers and she was the only reason I put up a nice appearance.

However, I felt something was off. I could not tell if it was the look on their faces or because we had not seen Teddy. He was expecting her, so why was he not yet here to welcome her? I could care less about exchanging greetings with him. I could not share my thoughts with her as I did not want to ruin her mood. I was also certain she wasn’t going to take me seriously as I had been nagging all day.

‘Where is your man?’ I asked, unable to hold off my thoughts.

‘Oh! We just missed him. He stepped out to get more supplies.’

‘Oh! Okay.’

‘What?’

‘Nothing!’

I was definitely not satisfied, but decided not to push it, at least, not at that moment.

We drank, ate and danced along to some popular tunes from the loud speakers.

‘I need some air. I won’t be out for long,’ Naya said.

 ‘Do you need me to come along?’ 

‘No, it’s okay.’

I stood alone drinking and sulking on how much I hated it there. I couldn’t wait to leave. A guy approached me. I was clearly not in the mood to entertain anyone. 

‘Shawty, you are too pretty to be drinking alone at a party. My name is Tijani, but you can call me TJ. What’s your name, sexy?’

 ‘I am not drinking alone. And even if I was drinking alone, who set the rules to define which company a drink should be drunk? If you would excuse me please, I need to find my friend.’ 

‘But, I did not get your name.’ 

I turned, smiled, and said ‘Ivy’ in undertones and left. 

‘You won’t believe this drunk guy that approached me when you left. I had to excuse myself to rescue myself from him o! Please, don’t leave me alone like that again.’

 ‘I am so pissed. I haven’t heard a word from him. He is not taking his calls or replying to his messages. It’s been over two hours since we got here. He can’t leave me and his guests hanging.’

I wanted to say ‘You should know better than to expect him to be courteous’. But I decided to be courteous instead and said ‘I am sure he has a plausible reason for his delay. I am sure he will be here soon.’

While my hunch grew persistent, I stayed busy trying to stunt its growth by hoping Teddy had a plausible reason for going off the grid, especially at his own party. Till I couldn’t. 

‘I think you need a refill, to calm your nerves’ I said, looking for a reason to get back into the house to feed my impulse.

‘Please come along with some ice', she said.

For starters, I made my way to the kitchen to refill our drinks. My eyes caught sight of something, actually someone with a semblance of him. But the person was too fast for me to recollect memories or connect dots, hence I shrugged it off telling myself I was overthinking and therefore making figments reality.

‘Put an end to this madness. You are not delusional,’ I scolded myself.

 ‘Be a darling, go out to meet her, and shake her out of that mood,’ I said leaving the house.

I gave her the drink and she drank it up in one gulp. I could see pressure mounting in her eyes. She paced, dialing his number every minute and dropping messages every other minute. Seeing her in that state, I decided I was going to allow some room for that hunch to sprout again.

 ‘I need to use the restroom, I will be right back,’ I said, dashing off.

Going back into the house, I headed for the restroom. I tried to stall in the restroom, just to believe my lie. I came out and made a quick stop at the sitting room. Everyone seemed to be busy drinking, playing video games, flirting, dancing or just having fun, it was a party after all. I quickly snuck upstairs. 

The hallway was filled with 4-5 different couples making out or trying to. There were three rooms. I tried to open the first door; it was locked. The second door was locked as well. Time was not on my side as she would soon start looking for me. I did not want to bother opening the last door. But something told me to complete my mini quest and put my mind to rest.

I turned the door knob and it opened. Out of impulse I quickly closed the door hoping that if anybody was inside, they should not be paying any particular attention to the door.

I heard a voice I could not identify say, ‘Who is there? Come inside, your friend is here, things are about to get steamy!’

‘It’s obviously a threesome, you should get going. Crazy people!’ I say to myself.

I should heed my advice, save for the fact that it’s no fun. Indulging my curiosity, I open the door and enter the room. I am not interested in their coitus, I only wanted to see their faces; weird, because it’s not like I knew their names. Here is the catch: hot gossip with Naya and I never forget a face. They were under the sheets with the floor littered with their clothes and empty bottles of drinks.

‘Take off your clothes and get under the sheets’, a feminine voice enjoined me. ‘Oh My God! I should get out of here’, I said to myself.

‘Come on, what are you waiting for?’ I hear a masculine voice say. The voice sounded familiar, but I could not put a face or a name to the voice especially as they were drunk.

‘I need to take a quick shower. Where is the bathroom?’ I ask to give myself room to process my next line of action.

‘That way,’ they both say in unison, pointing me in the direction of the bathroom.

I ran into the bathroom. I could hear loud moans. I knew I needed to leave them to their thing. ‘Turn on the shower and run out of the room, but take a quick peek at their faces,’ I say in my head. I reached for the doorknob, but one of them beat me to it. ‘Did they want to join me in the shower and take things up a notch?’ That certainly can’t work.

The girl came in first. She stood there ice frozen like she had seen a ghost with her jaw dropped.

I wondered why she was in that state. Until I took a more careful look at her face. Like I said I never forget a face. She was Teddy’s elder sister. We had met at his birthday party a year ago. 

‘Oh My God!’, I say to myself, laughing hard in my head. ‘We would definitely have a lot to talk about, Naya’.  

‘It’s not so deep. But why is she so shocked to see me? We all have our crazy moments,’ I say to myself, laughing even louder in my head. The guy stepped inside almost immediately.

Little did I know that was the nail that sealed the case shut. The figment of my imagination. Lo and Behold, it was Teddy.

 ‘Mr. Teddy, Well-done sir! I always knew there was something off about you.’ I said, leaving the obscene-incest setting.

‘Wait! Please, I can explain.’

‘Explain what?’ 

‘Is she here?’ 

‘Go fuck yourself and your sister. When you have had your fill, shove that silly question up your stinky ass’.

I ran towards the stairs as fast as my legs could carry me. 

 ‘Where are you going? You definitely can’t go back to her in this state. What do you plan to say to her? How do you intend to say it? How do you say to a girl that you just caught the love of her life in a threesome, with one of the participants, his sister? How was she supposed to process that?’ 

I went back into the restroom, this time for real. I took a long piss. I splashed my face with cold water. My heart was beating faster and faster. A tear trickled down my cheek. I mustered up courage, with my legs too heavy to move. I walked slowly; at the pace my legs could carry me.

‘Where have you been? What’s going on? Why is everyone disappearing on me? You spent more than thirty minutes in the restroom’, she charged at me. 

‘I am sorry. I got carried away,’ I struggle to say, avoiding her eyes.

‘He is still not taking his calls.’

 I am tempted to say, ‘He has stained your white– with blood.’ But instead, I pull her into a hug and cry.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I am getting emotional. I had one too many drinks.’ I fight hard to hold back the tears, but they get the better of me. 

‘You need to tell me the truth. What exactly is going on?’ 

‘It’s nothing. It’s my usual emotional alcohol bout.’ 

She could detect my make-shift lies. I had emotional bouts, but not this time. She knew something was amiss.

‘Ivy, I am going to ask you one more time, what’s wrong? What happened?’

‘I need to tell you something’. 

‘Yes, go on.’ 

‘I …….. We need to talk.’ I burst into tears; I could not do it. ‘It’s nothing. I am overwhelmed.’

‘You can’t randomly burst into tears and feed me the crap that you are overwhelmed.’

‘Ok. I will be honest this time.’ 

She was getting impatient. 

‘I saw Teddy fucking his sister!’