1.

Hi,

Her name is Roselynn.

But you can call her Lynn.

She is the main character of this story.

2.

"I just told you that I don't have money" said Lynn.

"Babe..miss me with that excuse.

You don't have money but you eat like a horse between the two of us.

Not as if you can cook oh."

"Excuse you?"

Roselynn was shocked at the way her flatmate,Morenike had just countered her simple statement with a low-key insult.

"I paid for 3 mai-ruwas last month and I paid for the meter.You better bring out money and pay for this gas. I'm hungry." said Moré.

"I would have paid but I don't have money."repeated Roselynn.

She understood her room mate's frustrations but she really didn't have money.

"Bring out your purse."said Moré.

"Why?" asked Roselynn to prepare for any eventuality.

They struggled for a little while to get to the purse where it was lying just below the make up shelf but Morénike was faster.

Opening Lynn's purse, she saw five thousand naira bills sitting pretty.

"You said you don't have money."accused More.

"That one is for the seminar na.

I told you it's happening next week,I have to print my work and also contribute for the refreshments." replied Roselynn.

She wasn't lying.

"What of the rest of the money in your account?" asked Moré.

"I'm travelling for my sister's wedding after my seminar."

"Your sister's wedding is in 2 months,Roselynn. It's your sister. It's not like asoebi is compulsory to buy.

What will you be eating till those three weeks?"

"We can just order food."

"Roselynn, are you listening to yourself? Ordering food and paying for gas which one is more important?"

"If I pay for this gas,we won't be able to eat chicken or suya with it. It's better we just order food."

With the way things were now, buying gas and foodstuff was just an unnecessary stress, according to Lynn.

Moré was exasparated.

"Babe, how long has it been since you started living with me here?" she asked.

Lynn wondered why she was being asked that question. She knew that she had asked her father for money for the house around their last born's birthday, which was in August.

And she paid the month after, which was September. So,it was almost a year now.

"It's been 10 months and 2 weeks." Lynn answered.

At least she knew she had bought gas before,she just couldn't touch the money she had left in her account because she had to spend a lot at her sister's wedding.

If there was no wedding, she would have paid for the gas.

"Please, don't worry about renewing your own part of rent and start preparing to move out." said More.

"Ehn?" said a very surprised Roselynn.

"You heard me. Dont worry about the gas again. I'll pay for it. Use your money for your own things. Start looking for your own house."

"Ah,ah,Moré nau." Lynn put up a pout as she tried to plead with her face.

"I've had it up to here with you. Please, look for your own house. We're in August. By September 30th,I don't want to see your load in my house.

If I see it, I will burn them.

And you know me nau.

Don't try me." said Morenike finalizing the discussion.

Lynn looked in total bewilderment at her soon to be ex-roomate and she knew that what she said was true. She would burn them. 

Moré did not wait to hear any more and walked out.

3.

"The person I'm squatting with said I should start looking for a new house oh. I'm homeless." said Lynn giving a grimace she'd seen from one of those Whatsapp memes. She was talking to her course mate, Ugochi.

"You're not homeless in Jesus name. Beg her nau." Ugochi said.

"Babe, what do you think I've been doing since yesterday?" asked Lynn.

"And to find house in this area is not small work at all."

"I dey tell you and I can't go back to my father's house. Can I stay at your house?"Lynn asked with her hands clasped together in a begging form.

"You wanna come and do threesome with me and my boyfriend?"

Lynn banged her head on the table with a fake cry.

The lecturer walked into the class at that moment and they were forced to comport.

Throughout the class, Lynn's mind was not at rest. 

Where would she get 500k from?

4.

There were only 4 places she could get that kind of money from.

The first place was her friend, Helen.

Helen was a tech babe who had moved to Ireland on a work visa. She was working with one of those Google companies and her pay was good.

500k was nothing for her to spare, just a little bit shy of 500 dollars.

Helen's pay was bordering $2000 a month.

But the last time,she had asked Helen for some money, she didn't like Helen's tone.

"Babe,what are you spending all your money on?" Helen had asked.

She knew Helen had the right to ask but it made her feel careless and little.

She had already received some bashing from Morenike, she was not about to receive more bashing from Helen who was her actual friend.

The rest of her friends were broke like her.

The next place she could make 500k from, was her father.

She could imagine the phone call.

"Daddy please I need some money."

"For what?"

Pause. "I want to get my own place."

"What happened to your former place?"

"I don't like the area again."

"Roselynn, do you know I'm retired?"

"Yes,daddy."

"I built a house in my youth for my wife and my children so that you guys can have a place to stay even if I'm no longer here.

The houses they build these days are not even fine.

Come and move back into my house. It's open for you."

Never!!!

Lynn shrugged that thought away as quickly as it had come.

The other option was her ex. Donald.

Scenes when they said call your ex or mop the ocean.

Lynn was ready to mop the ocean twelve times.

Donald was a business guy and part of the reason why they ended their relationship was because he put more effort in his business than in their relationship.

The worst part was that it couldn't be changed. Donald was like all these Harvey Specter people, always blunt and cold and he hardly was the type to ever have a hearty laugh ; Never romantic even though he could get gifts that she asked for.

 She wanted a Mike and she got a Harvey instead.

It was just his personality and she had to bail.

The next best option was a potential sugar daddy. Months back,when she briefly dabbled in the business of selling menswear, she came upon somebody's daddy.

After complimenting her, he asked her what she was doing.

She mentioned that she was a student and an entrepreneur.

The name 'entreprenuer' had a nice ring to it that time.

He seemed pleasantly amazed and asked her about what she sold,

"I sell underwear for men."

"That's ingenious. You don't see many ladies selling male underwear these days. They seem too shy. You're very industrious"he said.

Wetin this one de talk?? she wondered silently.

"Do you have some here?Let me support your business." he asked.

Unfortunately, she wasn't the type to be carrying underwear around. Besides,she had no car to carry her goods around in the boot.

"No,I don't have some here, but I can deliver them to you." she said.

"Alright" He then gave her his card.

"I'm travelling tomorrow for an important meeting but this is my address. Someone will be there to pick it up. When you send it, call me on this line so that I can compensate you okay?"

"Okay,Sir. Thank you"

"Lovely Lynn. Take care."

As a mumu , she sent it to him without payment and she had to call his line to get the money .

He told her if she wanted the money she had to come to his house.

Ontop boxers?

What did he want? To model it for her?

It was just 12k so she didn't bother calling or meeting him again.

She also blocked his line so that he wouldn't be able to reach her.

She knew he could give her 500k,but to get it she had to play ball with him and she didn't want to play the ball.

Raising her eyes upward, she said

"God of the moneyless, come through for meeeee".

Suddenly her phone dinged from an incoming message from the Whatsapp platform.

5.

The message read 'Do you want to make 20k to 200k weekly on your smartphone?Then join this free digital training that holds on Thursday July 30th at…'

Omooo…she had always thought these online money makers were ponzi people but she needed 500k.

If she could make 200k in one week….

Okay wait.

To start from 50.

If she made 50k in the first week,as per a learner, then 100k in the next week, she could make 500k in 6 weeks.

Enough time to buy a house before Morenike chased her away.

God, is this a sign?

She opened the chat, clicked the link and entered the WhatsApp Group.

6.

Unfortunately, they didn't teach how to make 200k in a month.

They said all of them in the group should buy a course for 40k, and then after promoting the course, they'd get 20k as commission.

Right now the convener of the class, one Gbenga, 'Prince of Money' was on the call with her.

"So, is there anything stopping you from purchasing the course now?" he asked.

"I don't actually have the money"she said.

"How much do you have?"

"Just a little bit of 50k but I'm using it for my sister's wedding."

"When is the wedding?"

"It's next week"

"Okay,miss Lynn. Do you know that, you can invest that money in this course and if you implement everything in the course,by next month, you will have at least 100k?

You can even buy your sister a bigger wedding gift than you were planning to buy"

Gift ke. Me that is looking for how to slay. She thought.

"Em,please,I want to ask. How soon will I see money from this thing? Because I've checked everything and this is my last option."

"If you implement for 10 days straight,you can start seeing result." he answered.

In 10 days,next month would reach. Is it worth the try? she thought again.

"You know what?" said Gbenga. "I'll give you a discount.Pay 30k now and then save 10k."

Ah…Lynn was excited at the thought of a discount.

"Alright, I'll buy the course" she said.

"Congratulations, Miss Lynn. You are on your way to financial prosperity. I'll send you the link so that you can pay. I'll wait to hear of your testimony in 10 days."

Amen.

7.

Read. Past tense of read is read.

He was leaving her on read.

Two bright and blue ticks.

After ten days, no money o. They told her to run ads. Advert o. That organic content is not enough for a beginner.

She asked them how to do the ads,they said she should pay extra 10k to run the ads.

She removed the 10k for the original discount and paid.

She sent proof of payment. No response. She sent him 'hi' for three days. No response.

"Is this how you guys go around scamming people in the name of online business?"

That was what she sent in her last chat.

Now…no reply.

And the fool was reading all of them.

Lynn wanted to cryyyy…

She wanted to go and drag him on social media but she knew it was her fault.

She was the stupid one.

She had two weeks left and no money. She only had 10k for the wedding.

God will first punish Gbenga James, 'Prince of Money' indeed.

As for now, where to get 500k from?

She listed her choices again.

It was going to be either Helen,the Baller; Donald,the Dracula; Popsi,the Retiree and Somebody's father,the Model.

Lynn did mental gymnastics and finally decided who to call. She picked up the phone.

"Hello….

WHO DID LYNN CALL?

DON'T LOOK

TAKE AN HONEST GUESS.

NOW READ ON.

8.

"Hello….Please I need a favour from you. " she said meekly.

"Yea, What's up?"

"Can you lend me some money? I have some issues to deal with but I'll pay you back by next year."

"How much do you need?"

500 for house hunting but she also had to recoup the 40k spent on the nonsense course.

She took a deep breath in and a deep breath out 

"600k."

"Do you mind paying it back with interest?"

"How much?"

"5%"

The number sounded small.

"I don't mind" she said.

"Cool, send me your details. You'll receive it soon"

"Thanks so much.Like you don't know how –"

The blip sound indicated that Donald had just hung up the phone.

Well,so much for mopping the ocean.