I’m tired
I’m tired of home
Home is meant to be comfort, serenity
Home is meant to soak you up with so much joy and a sense of community
Your escape room even
For me? Home is transactional
You have do something to get the basic needs
Home is exhausting
The constant reminder of what is or what had been going into your existence
The force to encourage one’s dream but never open to support mine
The constant struggle to keep myself whole while both parties try to tear you apart to pick sides
The lack of opinions, choice, proper human decency, privacy even
The emotional manipulation
The anger! Brewing to the point of not verbally being able to express
This isn’t the “sweet land” it was portrayed to be
The home in my head is worse than the one I have to bare
All I can do is blame it on the generations and generations that were before me
But the trauma ends with me
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