The first experience that prompted this essay was when I saw a house officer excuse himself without permission from Dr. Komommo’s rounds. I have boldly put out this name because 9 out of 10 people who have done Obstetrics posting will agree she is one of the nicest Senior residents in UCTH. My problem was not why he had done it, my problem was that his humility was almost timidity. See, this guy could barely talk to consultants. You know those people that will know stuff but be too scared to talk, always walking on eggshells like the next mistake will land them extension. A million reasons could have been responsible but I recognize audacity fueled by sexism. 

While we can lie to others, It is important to accept, that the first reason you find female medical senior colleagues problematic is sometimes the Capgras phenomenon. In your head, you have stripped them of what they actually are, SENIORS. You have “motherlized” them and when they as regular human beings do not live up to the pedestal which you have put them on, your internal battles make you start moving crazy. 

Based off personal observations, I believe the department with the most bullies in my centre is General Surgery. I don’t mean the petty high-handedness in paedo or the crankiness in Internal Medicine, I mean actual pure wickedness. In my 4th year, General Surgery unit 1 had about 15 students posted to it, none of the final year students showed up even for one day. The senior resident(now consultant) at the time was too abusive, called me useless one time, his emotional outburst was so bad, that a random consultant anesthesiologist had to address him. My crime, I was the only one in the group who showed up for theatre and he asked me to report the group to the head of department and I dragged feet. In my Cardiothoracic posting, a young consultant’s way of reprimanding a house officer was telling him, “you’re following this one that can’t pass his exams”, because this resident(older than him by the way) had the effrontery to  allow the house officer leave rounds. I have cherry picked General Surgery because many of your sob stories are from there. Dearest non medical fan, you will never believe gender ratio in that department. That is all to be said. 

Medicine is hard. Gender stereotypes are not just provoking, they are dangerous. Your female colleagues cannot be battling patients, their relatives, you and for the love of God, Juniors. The emotional/logical kini kan you people always say, please leave it for twitter bants please. Psychology says there must be a balance. So as a man, if you are in touch with one side more than the other, no be crase be that ?

You make excuses when your male seniors do it, but all of a sudden, you will no longer pursue a childhood dream or career path because ONE woman in ONE centre insisted you do work she has assigned to you the way she likes. Toh 

Dearest sisters, always remember, that with bias, a person will always find the narrative they seek. Agenda go cook, whether or not gas don finish, Therefore, traumatize the werey back. Judge and discern with good conscience, a person who is crossing the line. That is why you are a senior, to correct and shape leaders of tomorrow. They will cry a bucket full but you too have cried more even before you assumed this role. While we must care for the mental health of all and end the ferocious cycle of bullying in medical school, respect across gender is sacrosanct regardless of personal or cultural beliefs. 

In all of this, I know the type of senior I will be. I hope to replicate the kindness and compassion that many seniors have nurtured me with. I am confident of my ability to separate work from personal realities and because of this, I am place of peace and inspiration to colleagues across cadres. 

I do not have the discipline and strength to maintain law and order like Dr T from Derma but by the tides of Anansa, Walahi, I will not be a Dr. Komommo. 

Be safe sha