'Nike, you did not put enough scriptures in those sermon notes- do you want your husband to look like a fool on an altar? Make sure that never happens again, am I clear?"

"Yes," I adjusted my seatbelt and looked outside the window, studying the trees as they sped by. I had stayed up all night writing those notes I had written one the past week but he changed the sermon title last minute and I had to quickly come up with new notes before Sunday. As he preached, I tried my best to stay awake by focusing on the map underneath his armpit that his sweat had formed. He was screaming at the top of his voice and reading out the notes I had written forgetting some phrases and covering it up with 'Somebody shout hallelujah'

'I have announced the three-day compulsory dry fast, Everyone should take note'

'Yes Daddy- Yes' The children answered him.

The next morning, the pots were empty- the kitchen locked and bibles opened. We did devotion without him again- his loud snores filled the air- I quickly gave the children bread and tea and cleaned their mouths and told them to go and brush. He woke up by 12 pm and came to the parlor where I sat preparing his sermon notes for Wednesday's bible study.

'Where is my food?"

'Urm- I did not cook anything'

'What do you mean by that?'

'You announced that we were doing three days dry fast so-'

'Nike, please go and do me Amala' He stood there looking at me.

'Ah, but you said-'

'If I repeat it again- you'll be breaking your fast with Jesus- nonsense' He sighed and went back to the room. I dragged myself to the kitchen and cooked the food, I knew this was going to happen- every time he declared a fast in church, he would come back home and stuff his stomach with everything except the word so I had already even removed the soup and kept on the sink to defrost.

The message on Wednesday was on building a prayer life and he emphasized on prayer as a tool for defeating the enemy ' I pray nothing less than eight hours every day - you can ask my wife. I live a fasted life' He went on and on, i hoped nobody would ask me after church because I did not want to lie in the presence of God- the congregation shouted and shouted Amen, writing down the words that came out of his mouth furiously while some even cried.

'I dare you to see the miraculous- wake up every day for five hundred days by three am- use the living water that is for sale at N1,500 - drink two bottles every Friday and see if God will not move! I dare you to dare my God'

That evening, the water I had stayed up fetching from the tap behind our house, bottled and labeled got sold out in a matter of minutes- all the bottles disappeared as members rushed to buy living water for one thousand five hundred naira- what a living water, I thought to myself. When we went home, I got up by 3 am as he had instructed and as I prayed in the parlor, His snores came from the room, and stood at the door of the parlor and laughed at me. When I questioned him about why he never woke up to pray as he instructed he told me I was carnal and did not understand the way of the spirit because I did not know that He needed to sleep to receive dreams and visions from God- He told me that I tried to touch the Lord's anointed again, that God himself would slay me like He killed Lot's wife. So, I stayed quiet because turning into salt wasn't my ambition.

The year that my eyes opened, I could not stop weeping- Members would bring all their money to our house to buy prayers, they would hand over car keys and house keys in their numbers- they would book trips and hotels with their life savings just to get miracles and prophecies. It was getting out of hand but I did not even know what to do- He was invited to one of the biggest churches in Portharcourt and had instructed me to make sure I wrote the best sermon that I had ever written because his performance must be spectacular- He was going to be seated in front of bishops and Apostles.

As I prayed silently before I started writing, I knew exactly what I would write down- He told me he wasn't going to have time to look and read through because he needed to catch up with the match that was showing, i nodded and penned down the sermon.

He took me with him to his ministration and when he opened his notes - my notes. He read the topic out loud and everybody cheered and clapped, his huge grin turned into a frown and he narrowed his eyes at me.

'Turn your bibles to 2 Peter 2' He shouted. 'Media please, help me- we must move fast'

After he read the first three verses, he glared at me - he shot daggers at me with his glances and I sat there with a small smile plastered on my face, by the time he read the full chapter - he looked pale, I knew exactly what I had done, He could take it as warning right now or judgment later- In the middle of his sermon, I picked up my purse and simply strolled out of the church.