There is a plethora of experiences I never assumed would get even more difficult to navigate as I got older. One example is how I ditched my best friend two months ago because I realized he wasn't even a feminist ally in the very least. Figuring out my life and thought processes completely alone because being a young Nigerian feminist is lonely for me is an experience I was not exactly looking forward to. As someone who grew up pretty alone, absorbed in my own world because it was easier than conforming for people, it is possible that on some level, I took for granted how nearly four years of friendship with someone could [permanently] alter the independence I thought I had.

Another experience I always assumed would get easier with time is sexual harassment. You see, I know men like their victims young. This is not to say that I am oblivious to the fact that being a victim is not restricted to age brackets. I'm saying that I turned 18 and the men in my street stopped catcalling, my hair barber stopped trying to get fond with me. I just didn't think that even with the few times now that I experience sexual harassment, I would still be inclined to lock myself up in the bathroom, while keeping my fingers crossed as I cried my eyes out that my roommate would not need to use its toilet for the next hour.

I expect a lot from men, I expect a lot living in a world dominated by men, a world where the experiences I have and share with others are carefully hand-picked with the hope that there is no tinge of unnecessary struggle in them, but my expectations aren't good. Everytime I'm involved in some situation with a man, I'm expecting to have to fight back, to defend myself "just in case". Once, I had a man punch me in the eye because I shoved him and told him to leave my sixteen year old sister alone. Another time, I had a man threaten to "knock" me if I didn't greet him. While I am quite rebellious in nature, constantly daring men to do their worsts with me -and often having them actually do their worsts- I am still human and I do not think that it is such a big ask to have my week go perfectly fine without a man interrupting in some way.