Hate is a very powerful human emotion. It is rivalled only by a most enigmatic force. This rival emotion is one that comes in distinct ways, depending on the scale of which you are giving to a particular person.

This is not so with hate. Hate is static; it comes in one form.

Love comes in layers and each person experiences it the way you choose to render. You can love a person and want space from them. You can also love a person and want them to be around you always. You can equally love a person and be able to stomach them in small doses. It really is such a conundrum. In this multi-layered way that love is, the falling, too, is.

The falling may be happening to you and you would not even be aware at that time. You may not register that it’s happening, but it is, and you are there all along, playing host. Those butterflies may be there, but are you going to take notice of them if flapping eludes them?

Sometimes the falling may be happening intensely, with you, acutely aware. You may need to hold off for a while. You may even want to give this object of intense desire space, in order to adequately process what is happening to you.

Other times, the act of falling in love may be confused with intense attraction. We often say If you know, you know, but do you really? Maybe you just need to quench your desire.

I’ve often heard people confirming whether or not they were actually falling in love by laying with that person or some other person. If the feeling remains the same, then they are sure that they are falling in love. I want to call bullshit, but then again, this art is not learned. We all experience them in different ways.

Still I think you should know, if you are a philanderer, own it.

If not, there’s no need to deep anything anywhere to be sure. I mean... If you have to be sure, then that is all the assurance you ever thought you needed.

With hate, you never need assurance; it’s a knowing. You may meet a person twice, and decide you hate them. You may just meet them once or just see them to decide your hating. You may have known them, but have been unable to put a name to that intense feeling of loathing. There are layers to hating, though. There’s the can you exist in the same planet with them? The can you exist in the same country? In the same city? In the same home? In the same space? There are levels. Just like love can drive you over the edge, hate can, too.

What I sometimes find befuddling is the falling out of love. What really could they have done that you couldn’t imagine letting go. Maybe I’m the cynic but how are you really in love with a person if you cannot imagine the worst thing, or the greatest act of betrayal this lover may pose?

While the falling out of love may be befuddling, the falling in, is profound. The anxiety, the claustrophobia? The selfishness? The weightlessness? The moulting? The earnestness?

And there’s yet, the underlying feeling that it will all come crashing down. You will try to fling it to the back, but it’s there, unmoving. And sometimes, after it has all built up, you’ll play destroyer because what is life if not falling in love... and self-sabotaging?