Mirrors made me angry then.

How dare you confirm the ugliness I see in myself?

So I gave them out, avoided them. 

Reflective glass reminding me how beneath I am

As light touched it, it revealed the darkness of my skin and how fair I wished it could be. 

The scars from falling and cutting skin vexed me.

They rose from the back of my hands, getting worse at the elbow, each one telling a story of neglect and the pain I was given that I felt I deserved. 

I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to see. 

And so reflective glass haunted me.

They chased me down because I was running. 

And run, I did. 

I told myself the things people had told me. 

"You're so short, guy ...😭"

"You're way too fat for your age😕"

"Aya, what happened to your eye? 🥺"

Only the mirror parroted them back to me 

Reflective glass always showed me my heart towards myself and not only my face. 

And so I had to run,

Maybe if I believed it was reflective glass hurting me, I could escape that feeling that I wasn't enough to be loved.

To be valued. To be seen. 

But even without the mirror, I always told myself these things.

And so, when God saw this, He started working on my heart. 

He'd say, "You'd look lovely in this."

And I'd say, "Me? Lovely?"

(Love with me at the receiving end was still foreign to me, talk less of me having the quality of my appearance.)

He said, "You are dark, but lovely."

I could not believe it was me for a while. 

I had seen my dark for too long, and He was the only one who could show me my lovely.

He showed me.

Now I see. 

I no longer fear the light that shows me my scars.

I don't run away when I see my face. 

He has shown me who I am.

He is the mirror I look into and now I can't fear any else. 

And so, friend, you don't need to run.

You are beautiful. 

Take a few minutes, let it seep into you.

Yes, you can say it.

Now, say it again. 

"I am beautiful."🌺

Get used to thinking the words if you can't say it yet. 

You need to know. 

You've heard about it, you talked about not having it. 

Come and hear what beauty is. 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder.

It is in the heart of the Maker

And He has made you

So beautiful...

So much like Him.

And if not for His skillful hands that determine your every edge and curve, 

Even to the slantness of one eye 

And your waddlish strides.

If not for His deliberate sketches, your knocked knees 

Would have no beauty.

You are not beautiful because of the outfit you chose today or

The line of your lips, 

Not because they tell you that you are 

You are not beautiful because you tell yourself you are.

You are beautiful because He made you. 

You are a masterpiece of the Most High

A work of art that makes everything under the sky

nod their head and say,

"Yes, Yahweh's reflected image is here'.

There's nothing that can undo what He has done,

No argument sound enough to stand against the Word that upholds the universe

I am convinced that because He is, I am. 

Because He is, you are. 

I have told you my story, and if yours is similar, then you should know this,

The glass is not your enemy.

Don't let your view of yourself, or the ones others have given you be your reflection in the mirror.  

Let Him show you who you are.

Let Him call you lovely. 

You are loved by God.

If that is all you know when you look in the mirror the next time you do,

Then this piece was not in vain. 

-To those who feared the mirror.