What will you if you got a billion naira? 

A billion naira is equal to a thousand million naira.

Thousand million naira is equal to 500 million in two places. 

500 million. In two places. 

If I had access to this sort of money right now. I know the first thing i'm doing is going back to spices in UI. Buy a bowl of pepper soup and stare into space for hours. 

I know brain would  not have  processed how huge this money is. All i know in that moment is"Money deyyyy" 

Because i havent really breathed peacefully in a very long time. I mean i am breathing but i just imagine that peace that comes with having money. Having access. 

Relaxxx. 

The next thing I will be buying will be a wig and platform heels. Just for the sake of it. 

Then I will lodge in a very expensive hotel where there is room service and everything. 

Then I'm going to semo with okro and ogbono with every protein that it can have including snails.

This will take two hours tops. I know by now my brain is beginning to run into overdrive on how much money i have and the kind of power it gives. 

Relocation is a priority but then I will think of the car I will buy for myself.  

I love cars. Range rover wont be bad. Colour white or colour purple. 

At this point I will ask myself where I will park it so I need to buy a house but no stress or rush. Money dey. 

I won't buy the car yet, I'll be scared that thieves' eyes will be on me. 

So I'll think of something different. 

Jewellryy. 

My weakness. Im going to buy ice. I mean diamonds. Really stunning ones. Two pairs of earrings and one neck piece. Im going to buy rings too. 

Then makeup. 

I already decided that this year will be my year of learning how to do my makeup but sapa. 

So that's settled. I know I can easily afford a makeup artist with this sort of money now. But i want to learn it. I want to know about makeup brands. I want to compare colours on my skin. I want to experiment with it. 

Skincare is kind of a scary spot for me, so maybe not yet. 

I know that I will be scared to make a big move with the money but for the next one week. I will only eat and wear top notch. 

Then maybe, just maybe i would tell my father i won a 100 million lottery or on sporty bet. 

So whatever happens from then,happens. 

For now, ill just go and but ice cream with my last 5k. Na person wey don chop dey delulu.