Oh my God, I can’t believe I’ll be meeting her today and finally telling her how I feel about her. I felt a hard pinch on my cheeks, ‘ouch’. Did I just pinch myself? Oh yes, I just needed to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. A sheepish smile pecks up my cheeks and I shook my head.

It feels so good to love someone again! No, it feels so good to fall in love with someone like Jade. Jade and I have been friends for a year now. Don’t ask me why it took so long before I made up my mind to ask her out because I don’t have an answer to that. Or wait, maybe I do. I waited this long because I didn’t want to rush things up, and I also wanted to get to know her personality before I could make her mine. The wait is finally over!

I hastily put on my gray hoodie and grabbed my pair of white sneakers from my shoe rag. I was still wearing that goofy smile as I got ready to meet up with Jade. Just as I was about to step out of my room, I heard a thunderstorm. I immediately halted in my tracks and turned around. Wait, could that be a sign of rain? Weren’t we supposed to be in summer? There’s only one way to find out if it was rain coming. I rushed to my window and opened the curtains.

My mouth flew open at the sight before me. Staring at the sky, it was so cloudy. I felt a cold breeze hit my face sending shivers down my spine. I closed the curtains and stepped away. Confused at the sudden change of weather, I glance down at my wristwatch. It was past 6.15 pm and our meeting was scheduled to be by 6.30 pm. There was no way I was going to move this important day to tomorrow, no way! Under rain or sun, I’ll meet Jade and confess my feelings to her. I have a feeling she feels the same way about me, now is the right time to tell her before someone else will take her away from me.

I rushed out of my house and climbed onto my power bike. It was only then I remembered that Jade might not be able to make it once she saw the change of weather. Maybe is best I go pick her up.

***

“Nick?” Jade whisper-yelled my name the moment she saw me waiting in front of her house.

“Surprise?” I chuckled and shrugged. “I figured out the rain might ruin our date, so I came to get you. Hop on.”

“You shouldn’t have come. I would have still made it to you” she replied.

A huge smile spread across my face. “Well, as a gentleman, I wouldn’t want my lady to get soaked by the rain. And oh, speaking of rain, isn’t it weird it’s going to rain today of all days?”

“I thought so too. Maybe is a shower of blessings” she giggles.

I nod in agreement. She’s right, the universe is about to bless our union. “C’mon, hop on let’s get out of here before the rain begins.”

“Yes,” she responded and walked up to me.

I helped her with the helmet and she hopped on my bike. I drove off to a spot I’ve never taken her to which I’m hoping she’ll love.

When we arrived at our destination moments later, I helped Jade take off the helmet. My eyes were fixated on her to see her reaction. She scanned the environment with her eyes and she narrowed her gaze back to me. She was jaw dropped and her eyes grew large in awe. A cocky grin plastered on my face as I watched her reaction.

“Passion & Dreams Garden?!” She exclaims dramatically and I nod. “Oh my goodness!”

“Do you remember you mentioning it to me a few weeks ago while we were seeing a movie? You gosh about the photos you saw online and how you wanted to visit it.”

“Yes! I wasn’t expecting you’d bring me here. This is a romantic place for lovers to escape to.”

“Well, let’s just go in and see what it looks like on the inside” I replied not revealing my intentions yet.

“The outside is so beautiful! I can bet the inside is way much better.”

“We’ll see about that” I smiled and took her hand into mine.

We walked into the garden and spotted a cozy hut surrounded by blooming flowers, ivy-covered trellises and fairy lights. There was a well-designed bench draped with soft cushions and a beautiful knitted throw pillow. Staring at the structure of the hut, it was casting a warm invite to us.

“Wow! It is magnificent!” She gushes again.

“I’m glad you like it. C’mon, let’s sit over there.” I walk her to the bench. “Please sit. I’ll be right back let me get us something to drink.”

“Okay,” she flashed me her beautiful smile which melted my heart all over again.

I scurried off to the bar section and ordered her favorite smoothie and fruit juice for myself. Without wasting much time, I paid for our drinks and returned to our table.

“I’m back!” I exclaimed excitedly. “Here is your drink, enjoy” I handed it to her and she took it from me. I sat beside her and dropped my drink on the table.

“Thank you for getting my favorite drink.”

“It’s a pleasure.” We both sip out of our drinks silently. Suddenly, that excitement I had was mixed with nervousness. The thought of sharing my feelings with Jade begins to scare me. What if she rejects me or gets angry that I asked her out?

“Mmm, such a beautiful and calm evening, Nick” Jade’s angelic voice intruded on my thoughts.

“Yes. It is so beautiful like your face, and it is calming like when your smile calms my heart.” I gazed intently at her and I could see her cheeks warming with a blush.

“Oh Nick, stop flirting with me” she pouted.

“I’m not flirting with you, Jade. I like you. I really do like you.” My hands were becoming sweaty as I said those words to her. Her small eyes bore into mine in shock.

“What did you say?” she asks staring at me in disbelief.

“I said, I like you. I mean I like you a lot and I’d like for you to be my girlfriend. Ever since my heart collided with yours, the space you take up in my mind is enough to make me think of you as my life partner. You’re a woman that has so much to offer. You’re so hardworking, intelligent, kind, understanding, and humble. Every minute I spend with you either in person or on the phone is so precious to me. I’ve come to adore you because you’re such a homely person. My friends talk about how nice you are to them all the time. I mean, you are a gem, Jade. I don’t want to waste any more time waiting for the right time to make you mine because I’m afraid I’ll lose you by then. That is why today I’m asking you to please be my lady, and take me as your man.”

I don’t know, but there is something about her eyes. It’s as if the spark that I’m so fond of disappeared from her eyes or grew dim. The way she was staring at me made me smile and little hope I had a few seconds to run into hiding. “Jade, are you okay?”

“Nick” my name came out of her mouth inaudibly.

“Jade, what’s going on? Are you upset with me? Do you think I should have waited for more time before I tell you that you’ve taken up a space in my mind?”

“I’m sorry” she apologized gazing down to the table.

“You’re sorry about what?”

Her dark brown eyes narrowed to mine and I could see a trace of sadness in it.

“This isn’t about you, Nick. I really do like you. I love your personality. You’ve been such an amazing friend in my life. If I were to take someone to be my man today, then I would have chosen you. But unfortunately, I have someone who has taken a space in my mind already. It’s been two months now since I said ‘yes’ to him. Perhaps, if you had asked me out before now, I would have made you my man because I know you’ll be a great husband. Please I’m sorry.”

I felt something tightened on my chest, that should be my heart crashing. I was too dumbfounded to say anything. My eyes didn’t shift to anything else in the garden, it was fixed on Jade. I can’t believe she likes someone else. Why didn’t I ever remember asking her if she had someone before I proposed to her? What was I thinking? Maybe I should have even said it earlier than now then she wouldn’t have accepted the other guy.

“Please say something, your silence is killing me” her silky voice invaded my thoughts.

I shrugged, “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, but please don’t be silent” she replied and took my hand.

Reluctantly, I let her hold my left hand. Our hands were intertwined sending my heart hammering on my chest. I lifted her hand and kissed the back of her hand gently.

“Please tell me we’ll still be friends?” she requested quietly.

Staring up into her eyes, I shook my head in response. “No, we can’t be friends.”

“Why, Nick? I value you and the friendship we share. I don’t want to let it go.”

I don’t get it. How does she expect me to be friends with her when I feel this way about her? Is she expecting me to pretend when I’m around her? I love her, it’s going to hurt me so much to still be friends with her.

“If it were you, what would you have done?” I threw the question at her.

“I…I’ll understand. I won’t force or bother you to be with me. I’ll still be friends with you until I find someone else.”

“Oh, okay.” That was all I said and we sat there silently staring at each other. It’s like my whole world has come crashing down. The hardest part is not saying goodbye to someone you love but the pain of knowing that you won’t have that person in your life. To get over that person sometimes takes almost forever.

Everything keeps sinking in my mind. All I want to do now is to be alone and cry it all out.

“Maybe I should take you home since the rain is yet to start?” I suggested. She nods hesitatingly in understanding.

As we walked out of the garden, I couldn’t restrain myself from holding her hand one more time. The moment I did that, the rain began showering lightly. I stopped walking but she was still walking and I was dragged along.

“Jade, it’s drizzling” I reminded her.

“Is this the last time we’ll take a walk like this?” her question took me unawares.

“Uhmm, I don’t know” I answered nervously.

“Is this the last time you’ll be holding my hands?” she asked one more time. This particular question got me really emotional and at that moment I felt like hugging her and crying to her shoulders.

I have no answer to her question. If it were up to me, I would love to hold her hands for the rest of her life. While I was yet thinking, I felt warm soft arms encircle my waist. When I looked down, it was Jade hugging me. Her head rested on my chest and at that moment I was afraid she would hear and feel the throbbing of my heart. Why is she doing this to me? I felt a warm liquid slide down my cheeks. My arms wrapped around her and I hugged her so close.

The downpour became heavy but that didn’t startle us apart. We were glued to each other never wanting to let go. I wish the rain could wash away the pain I feel in my heart. I’m going to miss her so much. It hurts to know that I can’t have Jade in my life as my woman. Would I be able to get over this heartbreak?