I am sick as a dog with Malaria, typhoid and flu. I'm lying here thinking if this is this end, if this is how I go.

I'm praying to God, to the creator to spare my life, to save me. I don't think he's listening.

I'm pissed that this person who I probably got the flu from doesn't even give a shit. I've always known family ain't shit, shouldn't have expected better.

My head feels like it's about to explode. I'm starting to doubt if this is even Malaria, typhoid or the flu... I hope it's not covid.

I wonder how my family would deal with my death. I hope it doesn't break them, I hope they are able to move on from the grief.

I wonder if nwe and anam cara will mourn me, if they'll remember me after I'm gone... I hope so.

I wonder how my death will impact tthe world, if those I've ever come across will mourn me. Will they cry for a few minutes and shake their head... I don't know.

How will my family be able to pay for the cost of my burial. How will they be able to transport my body back to my hometown.

Never mind... Just remembered that the only time my relations show up is when there's death, they'll handle all the expenses.

I think today is the day I join my father. If I 100% believed in an after life, I'll write some cheesy letter about how I'll be watching over YOU always.

Instead;

Hey, I'm going to miss YOU, you're the reason I find purpose everyday, the reason I never gave up. I love YOU always and forever.

I woke up today feeling better

I guess someone or something was listening

Or I'm just lucky

Or it wasn't my time

I don't know.

I survived this, we'll see if I survive the next.