When was the last time you felt comfort?

Not comfort in the sense of comfortable like getting a good seat at a cinema or getting the right temperature balance from the air conditioning and blankets. Those are great do not get me wrong, I cannot stress the necessity of these things but I am referring to comfort as the warmth that emanates from within your soul and envelops your entire body.

 My most cherished moment that brought me true comfort was the taste of the grilled meat that made my mouth water. In the dim yellow light of the suya stall, as the smoke billowed out from the makeshift grill and Uncle Lamide compared the taste of Lagos suya to that from down south in Port Harcourt. 

You are probably wondering, what warmth could be sourced from the taste of meat by a busy roadside? 

Well close your eyes and imagine this, the sky was a dark hue of blue and the warm glow of the streetlights and the lights from the shops and houses by the road lit up the road. Vehicles hooted as people made their way back from the activities of the day, Okada riders called out to whoever walked by them, women haggled with the pepper sellers and the mallams peeled round, juicy oranges with cool demeanor and alarming speed.

The comfort was a union of all these factors, the atmosphere, the grilled meat and most of all how this was the first time I had stepped outside of my home after the death of my mother. This was the day before the service of songs and I was in a state of limbo. This state of limbo is made possible by grief unlocking a plethora of emotions just like unlocking Pandora’s box. Just like Pandora’s box released the uncomprehended, grief takes on many faces, sadness, anger, denial and sometimes just like C.S Lewis said “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” 

This is where the need for comfort comes in. In the midst of the fog that limbo had created, this singular moment of comfort was the spark of light that helped me find a semblance of a way. Another benefit the memory provided was it served as an anchor for the bad days. This is why it is important to find comfort. Get a hold of something precious, an encounter that just thinking about it evokes feelings of peace and contentment. This will serve as an anchor, a weight that keeps you down in times of crisis, something you can firmly grasp unto from within and utilize to keep your cool.

Life is full of uncertainties and it is very unpredictable, just like a storm at sea. Each wave of age brings joyful memories, loss, companionship and love and in these phases comfort can be drawn out or depended upon to weather the storms. Seek comfort and let it hold you. Embrace its memory and let it ground you.