I’m sorry for how long it took me to get to you. How long did you wait? It aches my heart to imagine you here, counting the seconds until they became minutes and tumbled into years. The fact that I’m here now doesn’t really absolve me of guilt. I know you say you have forgiven me but I haven’t forgiven myself. 

You see, it wasn’t meant to be like this, I didn’t realize I was hurting you. I know I told you to lose weight and then when you lost weight I told you to gain it back. I truly thought it was for the best, I wanted to mold your body in a way that people would like. If they like your body then maybe they’d like you. I had a vision for you, you had to act a certain way to fit into the box. 

I know I had to shave some of you away, yes you blew and cried, but look at you know a perfect fit. You are a perfect fit. Don’t look back on what you lost, you have won, you fit into this box now. You’ve won.

Then the box changed, there was a new box and everyone was going there. I help you be remodeled, it was hard but we did it. We fit again. Until there was a new box.

At that point I could see, I’m sorry for molding our body into different forms, we do not need to fit anywhere, we just needed to find our space. It took me time but now I know, if the world was burning, I’ll still choose you.