I have personally never been taught the word “you” as an example of a homophone or a homonym. I wonder if I should petition for it to be qualified as either, to save young children from the distress that comes from forcefully learning that it exists in both singular and plural forms. I do not have a problem with sharing, I just do not like it when I am not aware of how words share their meanings. Especially the word you, because the day I learnt about the plural form, it cost me something very important.

I was only six years old with a mouth that only liked ice cream and to tell on my three older siblings, the day I learnt you is a plural word, nothing special happened really. My mum had already started using the word mischief to describe the actions of my siblings. She said it with such disgust I did not want to be a part of it. Let me confess, I actually could not have been a part of it even if I begged. For that reason, I was always in a perpetual state of distress being excluded from mischief. On that particular day, I was in such distress that could only be cured with vanilla ice cream. I explained this to my dad and he acquiesced to my request.

Just when it started to get dark outside, my dad’s car pulled to the front of the veranda-a sign that he would not be coming in just yet. He honked twice and I ran to collect my parcel. A white Yakubu Supermarket polythene bag that I needed to support with two hands. He then clearly stated that the content is for “you” as he backed out of the driveway. That day, dad didn’t only buy me ice cream, he bought me power!

I ran to show off to my siblings the reward for being a good girl, but none of them believed that my dad would do such a thing. My oldest sister inspected the contents of the bag and shook her head in denial. There was no way that could all be for me, even though my dad said it is for "you." The back and forth was getting to loud my mum had to call us to her court. Mum jury is pretty straightforward and unbiased. She collected the bag and soon after, everyone left her chambers holding a cup of ice cream and a spoon.

If someone hands you a bag that has four cups of ice-cream, and four spoons, it is most likely for you and three others like you. Can you see why this word upsets me?

You should sign my petition.