“ Brush aya there, ina eme ebere” The keke driver tells the bus driver to drive past the mannequin standing precariously on the road, his voice tinged with pugnacity. The bus driver only stares at him — he’s not used to all this aggressiveness.

Coming to the Onitsha main market and Onitsha in general requires the individual to bring out the aggressive part of him. The crazy part. No, don’t tell me you don’t have it, find it!! Or don’t. When you find yourself in the situation I was this morning, you will find that aggressiveness, that agbero in you you refuse to acknowledge, you will find it by fire by force. You also have to shine your eyes well. Be patient, let me tell the story properly, please.

As the keke was driving into the market, there was a bit of traffic, the keke was moving slowly. Suddenly, young men appeared out of nowhere, flanking the keke, flashing phone screens, and shouting ‘Nnaa, na men’s wear pick your choice’ You might think them harmless, but dear, they are not! Ndị ọso afia are aggressive, but not in this manner; their eyes are not darting this way and that stealthily; they mostly don’t come in numbers of more than two. I’m telling you, more boys kept coming to a keke of only two people, ahh. Something fishy. I know what you are thinking. What of the ones you see when you are travelling, my dear, you are losing focus. Those ones are another case. Focus. Moreover, they don’t keep running after you when you have shown so much disinterest. Yes oh, na me dey tell you. My sister and I ran from the keke, my sister was very sure of their game. She said “Jidesie phone gị ike, ọkwa ka ha si ezu” I held onto my phone and we ran, one of them kept running after us, one short dark skinned guy in brown and white up and down. He just kept following us and we kept going. No be small thing. If this one does not convince you, then hear me out.

 As we came down from the bus that conveyed us from Asaba, we found a keke to take us to Main Market. Just as I entered, I had not even settled down, and the keke did a swift turn on that roundabout, that Onitsha roundabout, the keke man just turned round and sped off. My sister had not even entered, people were running and running, away from the lunatic of a keke driver. I say shuu, na one chance? When my sister eventually entered, after minutes of the keke man stalling, she told me that the man was not supposed to stop there, parking there is illegal. The keke man, his eyes red and bulbous; red enough to tell you he’s had something to drink, but not red enough to keep him off the road. He kept cussing the warden, and saying how sharp he is, and asking my sister why she did not enter quickly. Me I was just laughing. Ndị Onitsha na ayi ara. Yes oh, they are all raving mad, so when you come there, better activate your own madness, make another person no craze pass you.