No! I don't want to talk about it,

Not to you, myself, the wind or the walls,

Where would I even start?

Should I tell you how waiting felt like I was laid out on a rock for the sun to dry? 

Or how it isolated me so much, I forgot what it felt like to speak, to be, to breathe, to feel.

You enslaved me for so long with the promise of "the ring",

I waited till my fingers pruned in anticipation, 

I practiced so much, my act seeped into my dreams, 

Every night I slept I was a bride, 

White tulle, dashing groom, emotional crowd,

When I woke up, I was Ogechi,

Unmarried, old, lonely and hopelessly tethered to you,

You made me walk around with a bag of excuses, 

I was the most cheerful giver, 

I wielded excuses better any skilled swordsman, 

I covered up better than a drug smuggler, 

I stretched faster than the years,

My supple flesh lost its elasticity, 

I piled all of me, flesh and blood into tight clothes 

Nobody would ever see me sag, 

Not from age, not from grief, not from you.

I still don't want to talk about it!

I shouted at my reflection in the mirror, 

Today was not the day to remind Ogechi she was a failure, 

I adjusted my tulle and readied myself to walk down the aisle.

~Tolu-petu