Dearest Blue,

As I sit here reminiscing about you, my first love, the memories flood back to me vividly. We weren't in the same age bracket, but that age gap didn't stop me from adoring you. 

The first time our paths crossed, you were accompanying your mother to her little food stand in our yard, where she served the most delicious jollof rice. You were dressed in a striking blue shirt and faded jeans that matched your essence perfectly, making blue my favorite color. 

You stood there, tall and light-skinned with curly hair, you owned a pair of striking caramel coloured eyes. I can never forget how your dimples enhance your features every time you smile. You embody such gentle features. Little did I know, you would ignite my admiration for light-skinned gentlemen.

 After that moment, I found ways to see you more often. I eagerly anticipated coming back home from school to catch a glimpse of you, knowing your school closed before mine. We weren't particularly closely knitted, but I cherished the few times I  was around you, especially when you shared spine-chilling stories.

It pained me that you saw me as merely a child, understanding your perception but still yearning for your attention. As time passed, you ventured off to university as I entered senior secondary school. 

The week you left, my heart shattered, realizing I had lost you for good. You would return every 5 months, but each time felt different. The first time you came back, I observed subtle changes in you. You looked so visibly different, you now owned a full mustache, you had developed muscles and your voice had incredibly deepened.

 Those weren't my only observations, you became more flirtatious with the girls around, it was so unlike you, you were always shy around girls so what changed? 

One evening when we were with your friends, you handed me your phone to watch some comedy skits, as I swiped, I stumbled upon her – the woman who captured your heart. She exuded beauty and maturity, accentuating all the qualities I lacked. Discovering images of you two together, including a video of a kiss, shattered my world. 

I returned your phone, feigning an excuse about needing to go home, concealing the anguish that consumed me. That night, tears streamed down my face as the reality sunk in that you loved another, perceiving me solely as a child. The pain was unbearable, but I kept my emotions concealed, suffering in silence, grappling with my shattered illusions.

From that moment on, I distanced myself from you, and the ache intensified as you remained oblivious to my silent suffering. I was broken, masking the turmoil within me from everyone, as I struggled with self-inflicted heartbreak. 

After being away at school for three years, you returned home with a surprise - a pregnant girlfriend. The news that she had given birth to a baby boy soon followed. Witnessing the chemistry between you and your girlfriend made me realize that you were now committed to someone else, crushing every lingering affection I had held onto. 

As I saw the intensity of your emotions and love for your girlfriend and your child, my feelings towards you evolved from love to admiration. Despite the shift in my sentiments, I will always cherish the memories of you, as you were my first experience of love that will forever remain ingrained in my heart.

Yours fondly, 

D