"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess, so i sat quietly, agreed politely"

The above words are the first lines from katy perry’s hit song Roar. It was released in 2013, which makes it roughly 10 years since i’ve known the song.

It’s why i am shocked/appalled at just discovering how those words describe me and how i’ve lived my life up until very recently. It goes to show that sometimes one listens to music without really taking into account the lyrics of the song, without noticing the similarities between the words and your life, but that is a discussion for a another time.

Those words perfectly describe my dislike or rather, my fear of speaking up. This fear plagued me for most of my life and if someone had told me i would one day overcome it, i would never have believed that person.

You see, i used to be a really timid child. It came from growing up around strict aunts that never appreciated my big mouth and were never inclined to spare the rod.

That timidness transcended into adolescence and then into adulthood, i became an adult who was painfully shy and would do anything, i repeat ANYTHING, to avoid confrontations or having to speak up for herself.

Inorder to keep the peace and not stir up trouble/awkwardness or tension (which i especially hated), i learned to “sit quietly and agree politely”.

My decision to remain mute in defining moments gave me a reputation. I was known as meek, agreeable, easy. In the eyes of my peers i was docile, my shyness did not help matters either. I rarely got into arguments, and when there was a dispute, i would opt for peace rather than war, not realizing the great disservice i was doing to myself.

Yes! a disservice, because in suppressing my right to speak up, i was betraying myself. What is the point of a mouth if i won’t let mine speak? What is the point of a voice if i won’t let mine be heard?

I had to learn the hard way to speak up. Several painful moments caused by misunderstandings, assumptions and timidness cured that fear. These are moments i still regret, moments i know could have been avoided if i had just spoken up.

So if you are reading this and you’re just like i was, my advise to you is let them hear you ROAR.

Speak up! Whether it makes you uncomfortable.

Speak up! Even when the tension hits the roof

Speak up! And be true to yourself.

No more suppression, no more “what if’s”.

Just SPEAK UP and let them hear you ROAR.