I could see it somehow, I could see them gathered in the room-

I looked down and saw myself, I hated the suit they wore me - I looked at my face, my lying face that looked peaceful.

I was anything but peaceful. I heard them lying;

'He's in a better place"

'He is resting, He is resting in peace' They were holding my wife as she wailed and wailed.

I glanced at my children, red eyes but silent, they just sat and looked. Edi was on her phone, she was always on her phone.

'He was a good man' I heard Afi say

She lied again.

The most lies I heard were right here at my burial, they made cliche statements, heavy statements that none of them could back up who told them I was good. Whose standard of good were they using?

'Who said I was in a good place?' 'Was my body buried 6ft under with a Canon 360 lens, who was monitoring that I indeed made it to paradise? But here they were, gathered in their limited human knowledge, lying through their teeth and coughing out magnanimous statements that none of them could prove.

And that was how I had lived my life.

I did not believe what I did not see, of course, i did not believe in your Jesus

I did not see Him.

But now, you know what I believe?

That place is hot.

It is not a good place, I am not resting, they are not resting, resting in peace?

How does one get married when the groom is not there? How then do we rest in peace when the person of peace is not there?

The overwhelming darkness and the heat is not what is killing me, it is not what is taking my rest, after all, I was born in Nigeria - you want to know why there is no peace? It is the knowledge, the knowledge that this place is final. It is final and we are the ones that rejected the truth, and how painful truth is in the face of a lie, the heat is generated from the regrets, the regrets are what is causing the torture, and no one sleeps a wink knowing that they have been eternally separated, forever dead to the light that is life, without light there is darkness, without hope there is despair- we cry daily 'had I knowns', why did someone not tie me up and feed me the truth through my ears since I refused to open my mouth?'

And now these liars sit here and claim that I am resting in peace,

I am not resting in peace

I am continually and steadily swimming in the burning flame of my own regrets.

Now I believe, I believe because I have seen

But I have seen it too late. Everyone does indeed believe, it is when we believe that matters.

Please, don't lie, Please don't doubt - there is plenty of room for you here.

Decide against it. If you are reading this, it means it is not too late.