A teen.

18.

An age of becoming. A stage where everyone begins to expect more from you. There’s so much more responsibilities, everything just becomes so much more. There’s that pressure that comes from friends and family, and the institutions? they come with the worst kind of pressure. Families expecting the best grades at the end of each semester, friends encouraging you to go out more, live life and have fun, but which way? Can both really be done?

“Toluwani ?”

“Wannie?”

“Wannie ooo”, I heard someone call my nickname loudly, in an attempt to get my attention. I was already lost in thought, thinking about my life once again. I turned to see it was my friend, Faith.

“What’re you always thinking about this girl?”

“Nothing jor, I just got carried away” I replied with a small forced smile on my face. Apparently she had come to remind me that we had a class soon, but I was already tired for the day from all my thinking. 

We walked to the hostel together after the class but we had previously made a stop to get food. Prices of everything had shot through the roof, being a student in such times was just extremely difficult.

Faith and I were nursing students in Crownswell University, Ondo state. I had no intentions to be a nurse though, but I was rather forced to make it my discipline with the influence of my parents. My true calling was in fashion, but I couldn’t tell this to my parents because I was so sure they’d only condemn it and ask me to focus on my education. I’m a big fashion enthusiast, I love clothing. I could style different outfits all day, matching them by color, fabric and shape.

I even sometimes got creative with scissors and sewing tools, and I’d create something out of a regular clothing piece. Fashion influencing was something I could only dream of because I was not financially stable enough to make it happen. Most of my outfits were gotten through thrifting, I only sometimes found unique clothings in a thrift bale after hours of searching. In my thrifting, I’m usually never able to find good shoes and accessories, so it was a bit limited. I tried posting on my Instagram a few times, but the low engagements always discouraged me. So, I just tried to focus on getting good grades and graduating.

About a week to my second semester exams, I heard my phone ping. It was a text from my friend in Abuja, Jerry. Jerry knew how much I loved fashion and he always tried to encourage it for me, but I just always felt it wouldn’t work out. Turns out he was texting to inform me about a street fashion event, which would be hosted by his uncle. He asked to know if I’d like to attend. The date turned out to be exactly one week after my exams which was perfect, but the issue was that my parents probably wouldn’t let me go for the event if they knew about it. I was just so uncertain and didn’t know what to do. I could only tell him I’d try to come as I wasn’t sure of anything at that point. My university was in Ondo state, which is quite far from Abuja where I live. I knew that going for this event would be hectic because I’d have to sort my transport and accommodation myself, since I’d be unable to inform my parents. I pondered upon this for a while but decided to let it be and just focus on my exams. 

Examinations ended just as quickly as they had started, and now that they were over, I could finally focus on cooking up a plan to attend this event without my parents finding out. I decided to lie to my parents that I’d stay at my cousins place in Ondo state for a few days before coming to Abuja. I hated lying to my parents, but that was the only thing I could do at the time. They agreed to this then proceeded to ask me to stay safe, and ensure I took care of myself. I felt terrible after lying, I knew they only wanted the best for me, but for once, just once, I wanted to take a bold step for myself. This decision could actually change my life, I couldn’t just sit back and let the opportunity pass right in front of me, no. It was an opportunity to network and meet my kind of people, people I could relate to, and share my ideas with. 

I informed Faith of my plans, and she surprisingly supported it. She told me to do what I think is best for me and as long as it made me happy, I should just go for it. Faith also borrowed me the balance I needed, to complete my transport and accommodation fees, she really was the sweetest person ever.

The following weekend, I hopped on the first bus heading to Abuja, it was a long trip but we eventually arrived. On arrival, I booked a ride that took me straight to the hotel which I was to stay. It wasn’t a huge hotel but the interior was homey and comfortable. I settled into my room, and after a shower, I started thinking again. Should I really have come here? Was this the right thing to do?, these questions floating around in my head. I started being uncertain again but I decided to push the questions away, while I actually focus on my reason for being there at the time. I searched through my luggage, looking for an outfit that would perfectly fit the theme of the event and also look amazing on me. I decided on denim, because nothing says street like denim does. The only way to achieve the amazing look in my head, was to add a leather jacket. Staring at my pick, I felt satisfaction. I had picked out a black and white leather jacket, a black camisole corset top, a denim blue tennis skirt, my old doc marten boots which I had thrifted at a steal price, a white baseball hat and my trusted pair of stockings. A lovely fit this would be. 

I made a call to Jerry, letting him know I was in town, he was so happy to hear that I made it, I really didn’t think I’d make it either. The event being the next day, I made sure my outfit was in check, every clothing fit, no holes in my stockings and all my jewelry were complete. 

4pm came much more quickly than I expected, it was finally time for all I’ve been waiting for. I was fully dressed from head to toe and staring at my reflection in the mirror. I really hoped I was killing the look in real life as much as I was in my head. I anxiously booked my ride to the venue, shakily holding on to my phone all through. I stepped out of the car after paying, staring at the large event center situated right before my eyes. I took a deep breath and went in, right after texting Jerry that I was at the venue. Looking straight ahead, I saw someone waning from a distance, it was Jerry of course. We exchanged pleasantries and a hug, afterwards the hall started getting full. Different kind of people trooping into the hall, it was so amazing. Colorful and beautiful outfits on everyone around me, I just knew I was in the right place. During the red carpet, Jerry introduced me to his uncle, Lanre Omobuwajo. He had a strong influence in the fashion industry, and I felt so honored to finally meet him in person. Mr. Lanre looked at me with a smile, telling me how much he’s heard of me from Jerry, I just wondered what Jerry had been saying to him. I really was happy and honored to be there next to him. He asked if I’d like to take pictures with him, and I excitedly said yes. In that moment, I finally knew the answers to the questions I asked myself back in the hotel room. I’m glad I came here, and this definitely was the right thing to do. Who tells your story Toluwani?, I could let my parents tell my story and end up working a job that might pay well, but would result in me living with regrets and sadness. I want to tell my story, I want to be the one who writes how it’ll go. Mistakes are possible, but they can always be rewritten and avoided. I’ll tell my story and  only hope and pray for the happy ending I desire.

#WM 2024