I think, sometimes that men are like plantains,

Plantains are seemingly easy to prepare,

They are also quite finicky,

You just have to pay enough attention.

Today you will be enlightened and taught the basics,

The kind, the techniques, the oil and the spices.

Remember, I am teaching only the basics. 

To start, you shop.

Select a kind and stick to it,

Unless of course you find a better bargain. 

Look away from unripe plantains that are extremely cheap,

This kind has sap leaking from its head,

It is obviously still very attached to its mother,

Remember you are there to find plantain to eat, not plantain to train.

Avoid even glancing at the overly ripe ones,

With illusory colors that are otherworldly,

It is a facade, all living things have blemishes.

It could be good, it could be bad,

But such a gamble is bad for your delicate stomach.

Do not be convinced to buy anything,

Especially the ones blackened by rot.

Trust me, it won't be decadent 

No amount of heat will burn away the smell of rot,

And this rot will seep into your intestines and eat you from inside.

You also have to know that there is a plantain for each technique,

Plantain for boiling, plantain for frying, plantain for grilling,

There is even plantain for chips depending on the type of chips and plantain for turning swallow.

Make sure you don't get it confused,

Do not fry what you should boiling so you don't end up purging,

Purging is draining, toilet seats were not made for leisure.

The spotlight is on frying as a technique,

I am choosing this one because our time together is limited,

Doesn't require chef skills, very easy to start with,

You have to find the right pan to house the oil.

The right temperature to heat the oil before frying the first batch,

When the oil is too hot and the plantain touches it, it screams, splashing and throwing its weight around,

When the oil is hot, it becomes impatient,

It burns the plantain quickly without cooking it through.

Oil for plantain must not be abandoned because there is nothing as disappointing and frustrating as burnt uncooked plantain,

This kind will draw tears from your eyes faster than blood travels to the heart.

As you know some plantains are cooked with spice,

If you sprinkle a bit of salt, the plantain is straightforward,

A dash of pepper, it becomes sharp and clever,

A little ginger, energetic and vibrant.

Nutmeg is gentle and subtle on the palate,

Plantain cooked with garlic is strong willed and resistant.

All these spices are quite common, but some plantains require spices that are well, uncommon,

Like vanilla, classy and balanced.

Saffron, elegant and sophisticated.

Cinnamon, warm and cozy.

Your spices determine the kind of plantain you consume,

Measure properly with both clear eyes and mind.

So when next you enter the market in search of plantain,

Remember what I taught you,

Thread the streets carefully.....

~Tolu-petu