Do you smell my trauma?

Do I pass you and all you do is sniff me 

Do you smell that dark night in October? 

As he pushed my head against the bed board 

My mouth pressed against his thick hands

My legs trapped as they fought to escape 

And my tears falling against the soft sheets 

Do you smell my trauma? 

Do I pass you and all you do is sniff me? 

Mama’s death hanging all over me like gutter water 

My grief so dark you struggle to see my face 

Your hands gripping my walls 

As you try to find the light 

Do you smell my trauma? 

The day she broke my heart 

My hand holding my chest 

Like my heart fell onto my hands 

And I wanted to smoothen it so badly

Whispered sorries wrapped in my crooked voice 

As the tears choked me

Do you smell my trauma? 

The day I ate corn chaff for breakfast 

And smiled like it was the best meal 

Licking my lips 

And knowing there was no meal for the rest of the day 

Do you smell my trauma? 

Because I hope not 

The day my face dares to show my pain 

Is the day I will take a rope 

Knot it 

And end my life 

Oby