Since 2019, maybe 2018 even, I’ve always had goals and expectations for the year. I may not have always designed a pretty vision board, but at the start of each new year, I’ve nursed hopes and dreams of things I’d hoped to achieve throughout the year.

Entering this year, I felt different. I was neither excited nor sad. Since December of last year, I didn’t desire to ‘take stock’, ‘count wins’, or review how my year had been. I already knew it was as shitty as the two years prior. Now don’t get me wrong, 2021-2023 brought its fair share of victories and moments of growth. But amidst the ups were unexpected lows and having to figure my life out and let me tell you, I WAS NOT INFORMED. 

For most of my life, school had always provided some level of stability, control, and ‘What’s next for me?’ Until it didn’t anymore (AKA I graduated). For a chronic over-thinker, you would think I had it all figured out. Apparently not. 

Since graduating (2021), I have doubted everything I thought I had figured out—my values, career, faith, friendship, future, talent, goals, and everything in between. There is nothing that prepared me for the intense lack of a one-size-fits-all solution for this phase of my life. This naturally exposed my naivety about life and threw me into an excruciating self-discovery path while figuring out what I wanted to make of myself. Now, as someone that has had to learn patience from this process, you can see how and why I described these years as shitty. Also, not having any ‘BIG’ win caused me to despise every other not-so-big progress I had made.

So on one hand, I was glad that 2023 was coming to an end, but on the other hand, I was not so excited for the new year, almost scared even, especially since there’s still a lot of figuring out to do. 

So entering this new season, I’ve had to find my hope and faith for this year and the future. If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, it is that when you find yourself in a dark place, you decide if it is for burial or planting. I’ve decided that I’ll keep planting and watering. After all, what is life for if it’s not for living and taking bets on yourself? 

So without further ado, 2024, shall we?

”Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to Edidiong. All came to pass.“

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