Dear Diary,

I watched my girlfriend get married. She had always wanted a December wedding and I’m so glad her dream came true, even though it was not with me.

I watched her kiss her man after they had been declared husband and wife and I swear that I could see her lips pucker in disgust, even though it just was for a second, I saw it. It reassured me that she still wanted to be with me.

She didn’t look at me throughout the ceremony, I couldn’t blame her, I am sure she was avoiding eye contact out of respect for me, she was thoughtful like that.

I tried to stay calm as anger vibrated through me, when she was looking earnestly into the eyes of her husband and smiling widely, this was for show. She probably didn’t feel happy inside. My thoughts drifted to the night before and I felt a smug satisfaction from remembering how it was my name she moaned when she came, my name not her now husband’s name.

She was probably miserable all day, performing for family and strangers when I know that deep down, she wanted to be with me. It didn’t matter that she asked to cut off contact after the wedding, I know she said it in a haste to protect me, to protect us.

Dear diary, I know that Medina still loves me. She is probably in bed with her husband, faking orgasm and wishing it were my fingers and mouth.

Dear diary, I’m going to send her an email because she has me blocked on whatsapp. I have a feeling she still wants to hear from me.