Where was it?!!

I scrambled my hand frantically through my bag - the first zip, the inner zip, the innermost zip - where was this thing?

The large figure moved and with every step, the ground trembled - the table shook in terror, the hair on my skin stood at attention, and my hands became sweaty, my knees started knocking, he was coming closer and closer- a tear rolled from my eyes. God please

'God please, don't let this happen to me'

I emptied my bag, fell on my knees, and searched - my whole life flashed before my eyes, I heard my mother's voice, her still voice heavy with the predictability of the future, I remember how she warned me, she tried to tell me but I was just too deaf to hear- the previous night she said it;

'Don't forget it Nse, carry it now'

Had I Known,

If only I had known that life tested our listening abilities- we cannot do things and expect different results, this was going to be my teacher - life was everything but being a patient teacher was the one thing it prided itself in being, it was someone that said when a miracle happens to your neighbour it was clear that God was in your neighbourhood - if a curse fell upon your neighbour- did that then mean? Hm, O God -

'dum! dum! dum!'

The footsteps were brisk.

He was here

Now, I was in between the devil and the blue sea- I fell on my knees, and the tears rolled.

'Please'

There was no mercy here, the cold embraced me - O God, I could have listened please give me another chance, remember how I brought it other times, Lord please - before I used to keep it in my bag, I never removed it- O God, please just this one time - please

'Nse'

His voice thundered, they sent lightning bolts to my skin- My skin shuddered, my blood started freezing- my socks begged my feet to stop crying.

'Where is your calculator?"

'Si-r'

'I will not repeat myself, pack your things and leave the class'

It was over.

What I had feared the most had come to me, Now - it all made no sense, all I had thought I worked for, waking up early to study for the test, I had even taught other people - how did I get disqualified? Did this happen to me? Was there no other way? was it only through the calculator I could receive the saving grace to be admitted to this class? Were all the times I had it not enough? was it the only way? Now, here I am - deserted, abandoned and cast away. It was not enough that I started this term with my calculator - in the very first class, I appeared with it - and the second as well! I guess that better is the end of a thing than the beginning. Those who did not have their calculators were pushed out of the class, I looked at the chair that I had so wholesomely occupied, I thought I was going to have the privilege forever but here I was, being kicked out - the door slammed at my face, the darkness embracing and dragging me - I cannot believe this.