A Narcissistic rant

A few days ago, my football team and I had a match and at the end of the match, I was downright disappointed. I managed to grab the much needed equalizing goal for my team and we ended up playing out a draw. However, despite my visible frustrations, my teammates heaped waves of praises on me and rumbled nonstop about how insanely good my performance was. I was surprised, bemused even. There was no way these boys believed I performed that well, that wasn't even up to par with average, it was a stinker in my opinion. I thought they were trying to ridicule me initially with what I thought were sarcastic praises, but overtime, I found out they meant it as they said it. One thing was clear to me therein, I hold myself to an incredibly high standard.

I have always argued about narcissism and what it entails. Is it a worthy characteristic or simply an exaggerated self hype? I remember my first book, "Twenty for Reflection and Action" where I detailed my views extensively about the pros and cons of narcissism. To me, it only stands for something right. The word narcissism itself is daunting, little wonder why people with this trait come across as pompous and possessing a massaged ego. However, this assumption is miles off being right. Narcissism is synonymous to self belief and it takes a great deal of self awareness to be in sync with your abilities and weaknesses.

I remember the first time I listened to Champion by Fireboy Dml, and now well over a year, each listen of the song is a trip down memory lane, to the first time I heard the song and the surge of emotions I felt on the day. The song made me feel invincible, I knew I was already invincible and the song solidified it, and made me feel like a god.

Here, behind these sentences is a twenty one year old boy with no notable accolades or contributions to his society, just a box load of potential and his ingenuity propelling him. He hasn't experienced a resounding success yet to be this dogged but he still is. The odds keep rising, well against him, it's improbable to see a glimmer of light in a seemingly unending tunnel but he goes on like he has a million dollar on his name or like he has created one of the most successful books this year. You could say he is well off tune with realism and he is a perfect example of living in denial but he simply does not care. The way he rants on about being the absolute best will leave you wondering if he is just deluded or there might be an underlying problem sparkling that level of delusion. Maybe he is mentally not okay? I remember one person suspecting that I might be suffering from schizophrenia.

However, all these doubts do not faze him in any way, most of the time he just chuckles at them and pays no attention to these critics which he saw as naysays. Pride comes before a fall should be pride with equal action comes with an inevitable glory.

My lifestyle depicts this writing perfectly. I strive for perfection in every of my endeavors even though perfection is ultimately an illusion. Every conversation I hold, every stare, my demeanor, I try to do everything differently, like a champion. It has undoubtedly left people curious about me. A lot of these people probably saw me as simply clueless and confused whilst some saw the potential and the beauty in being different. Make no mistake, this lifestyle wasn't cultivated, I did not become a narcissist by choice, it was there the moment the world welcomed the birth of a star at midnight. I have lived well over two decades with just potentials, and as you know, time is a timed luxury. But I would be damned to let in self doubt, I still maintain an extraordinary level of high Spirit and I work to get it all because I want it all.

Now over to you, do you believe in yourself as much as the people around you do? Do you carry yourself as a regular or as a champion? Are you extra motivated or you have allowed self doubt creep in? The mind is a powerful tool that controls literally every activity of the human body. Therefore, when you manage to train the mind to align with positivity, you slowly begin to think positivity and over time, it becomes a part of you subconsciously. They say the greats pictured themselves as one of the greats long before they became great, the champions conceptualized their success in their minds before it became their reality. Dreaming is free, therefore, dream it and live it, you're a champion.