“Fuck” I mutter under my breath as I cross the street. I didn’t look left and right and one foolish okada man just breezed past me and almost knocked me over. I had to jump out of the way and I landed in a pile of dirt. It had brought up a lot of red dust. It is December and everywhere is dry.

I gather myself and attempt to dust my slippers. It’s all futile and I just kick up more dust. I give up and continue to make my way to Esiri’s house.

A little bit about Esiri; he’s a fuck nigga and while I cannot stand him, he’s the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in a long time so I tolerate him. He brags about being the toughest guy in his area and no one can try him. We had met in late November on the app, and one of the first things he had said to me, jokingly according to him was “Don’t go and fall in love with me o. December is bad for dating. Our lips are too dry for kissing and lube is expensive.”

I had gisted my friend, Seki and she thought it was crass. I shamelessly found it hilarious.

Today is the first time I’m visiting Esiri in his house. Today is my first time.

When I get there, I call him on Snapchat and he comes outside to get me.

“How far now? I hope it wasn’t difficult locating this my humble mansion.” This “mansion” is a self-contained apartment without a kitchen.

“Ah ah, see how you’re fine o” he teases me.

“Abeg leave me joor. Okada almost took my life just now.” I retort.

“Oya come here” he says as he pulls me into himself. I’m stiff for a moment because na fuck I con fuck, but he rubs my back. I’m glad you’re here, he whispers.

I don’t expect this level of gentleness from…Esiri. Esiri the bad boy? I simmer down and allow myself to be soothed. We stand for what seems like hours and he finally releases me. We sit down and he pours me a glass of cheap wine. We talk about everything, from the newest episode of our favorite shows, to the nonsense policies the government is making. We place a bet on how much dollar will be in January and the loser would have to take the winner on a proper date. Esiri suggested it.

I’m looking at him in wonder. Here, in his mansion, I see him, truly. Esiri the dreamer.

Maybe December isn’t that bad.