The congregation cheered in excitement and Majekodunmi watched as the monster climbed the pulpit. His protruding belly seemed to draw him back as he put one foot in front of the other. Each step he took was met with heavy breath as he reached into his pocket to pull out a handkerchief which he used to wipe the sweat that dripped down his forehead.

Suddenly, everywhere became quiet as he paused for a moment to peruse the room before his lips widened in a smile. She knew the devil hiding behind that smile. A monster that only rears its head at night. Goosebumps appeared on her arms as she shivered like a dog doused with freezing water. She tried to keep her mind from wandering, but she was transported back to the events of last night.

Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead as she remembered the cold feel of his palms against her back when he pulled her dress open, before he pushed her down on the bed. Panic engulfed her as her heart began to beat faster. Her mind screamed for her to run, fight or kill but fear paralyzed her. Its fingers weaving its way down her spine holding her captive. He advanced towards her but she was unable to move as he got closer.

At this point, her mind registered what was about to happen so she tried to shout, but she was only able to muster a strangled cry as he placed his right hand over her mouth while his left hand skimmed over her thighs. She moved to kick him between the legs but before she could, she felt a sharp pain course through her head as he dealt a huge blow to her face.

For a few minutes, she was unable to move as everything became blurry. She could feel the tears gather behind her eyes as she lay on the bed and watched him get off the bed. His back was turned to her now as he unbuckled his belt and struggled to get his legs out of his pants. She knew this was the last chance she had to save herself as he had shifted his attention from her, so with the little strength she had, she pushed herself up on her elbows and reached for the lamp that lay on the table beside her bed. It was dark and her head was still pounding but she willed herself to keep going.

Almost there...

She gave a sigh of relief as she wrapped her fingers around it. It felt cold to the touch which was a welcome relief given how hot she felt, but before she could dwell on this the monster yanked her head backwards and the lamp dropped from her fingers with a bang. He pinned her to the bed and tightened his fingers around her throat. Air left her lungs as she clawed at his hands but his hold only got tighter. She kept struggling as her legs flailed in the air trying to land a kick, but he pinned her down with his weight. This time she could not withstand the pain as she resigned herself to her fate. Her eyelids closed slowly as she welcomed the pain. The kind of pain that leads to freedom. His lips widened as he gave a satisfied smile, the exact one he was wearing now. This was what she remembered before she blacked out.

An insistent nudge on the shoulders pulled her back to the present. It reminded her of the way her childhood friend, hauwa used to alert her anytime a stranger walked by as they hid their giggle behind their hands. But this time, it was Tayo, her neighbour’s daughter. She stared at her for a minute not saying anything, but instead of excitement she felt shame.

“Your father has started preaching but you’re not listening,” She said as her face scrunched up in a tight frown and her mouth pursed ready to admonish her lack of concentration.

Why shouldn’t she feel anything but shame? The monster was encouraging sinners and believers to accept a God she didn’t even believe existed and she should be one of his biggest supporters cheering him on, but she had zoned out and remembered all his atrocities. Wasn’t there a line in the bible that talked about forgiveness? But she was here thinking about the past. It was definitely a cause for shame.

She pushed down the feeling of guilt that welled up in her stomach as she turned to watch the monster speak. His head was bent now as he read from his bible and the crowd oohed and aahed in admiration. She couldn’t fathom what exactly they found special about him. He was human after all just like the rest of them, but they treated him like he was Jesus. They worshipped the ground he walked on and were always ready to donate their hard earned money to him for “charity”. Yet, he had not performed a single miracle for them. A Jesus in human form indeed. Majekodunmi knew he was definitely no Jesus. Her stomach knotted as her thoughts came back to life.

The next day, she had woken up naked, sprawled on the bed like a piece of meat. Everything was in the same position as she had left it and the room showed no sign of him. Her only reminder was the painful throb between her legs. She tried to stand up but she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head that knocked the breath out of her. Her body ached as she lay on the bed for a moment, staring at the ceiling trying to come to terms with everything that happened the day before. Her eyes cushioned the tears she was trying so hard to keep from falling. The pain pierced deep like someone had driven a knife into her heart, twisted it deeper into the soft flesh and pulled it out mercilessly. Then, left her for dead. Her breath came in short puffs as she attempted to get up again. She struggled to stay on her feet as she took the long walk to the bathroom that was located at the other side of her room. Thankfully, she got there without dropping dead. She stepped into the bathtub and turned on the shower.

The water was hot and it burned her skin but she didn’t care as her fingernails pierced her pale yellow skin. She scrubbed her body frantically wishing she could peel off her skin. This time she couldn’t hold back the tears as they fell freely down her cheeks. Her hands went to her bare breasts and she felt the markings he had made on her skin. Her cries got louder and she was grateful for the sound of the rushing water that drowned out her screams. She dropped to her knees begging to forget his scent on her but it was impossible as his smell was so potent it almost felt like he was standing directly behind her. When she had no tears left to shed, she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her.

She heard her mother call out to her to set the table as she stepped out of the bathroom. Her yoruba accent permeating her English. She looked through her wardrobe for a simple dress to wear before she dashed out of the room. She met her mother at the dining and saw that she had already set the table. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she moved to sit down.

“E kaaro mummy,” She said as she reached for a plate filled with Akara.

“Kaaro Oko mi,” her mother replied, “You were supposed to help me set the table this morning.”

At this statement, she raised her head in an attempt to protest but thought better of it when she saw the look on her face. She recognized it well because it was one she had given her one too many times. She noticed her mother had wrapped her famous Ankara patterned wrapper around her bosom. The tiny material struggled to hold her saggy breasts that had passed through the travails of breastfeeding.

Her mother had continued speaking, but Majekodunmi didn’t pay attention to her scolding as she was more concerned about the food in front of her. She tried to pick up one ball of Akara but before she could, her mother hit her hand and said, “Your dad would be joining us so you can’t eat yet.”

Her heart skipped a bit when she heard that. It was like someone had cut off the oxygen supply to her head as she started gasping for breath. She gripped the edge of the table as she tried to calm herself.

“What’s wrong?!” her mum asked in alarm as she reached for the glass of water across the table.

She grabbed the glass from her hand and took a huge gulp. With shaky hands, she placed the empty glass on the table and took a deep breath. Meanwhile, her mother ran her hands down her face and body as she kept shouting, "Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus! Who have I offended?" in a way peculair to a Nigerian mother.

When she was sure she would be able to speak with coherence, she turned to look at her mother who had a worried look etched on her wrinkled face.

“I’m fine, mum.” She said as she ran her hands down her mother's arm in a bid to reassure her.

"Are you sure?" Her mother asked as she placed her hand over her forehead whilst praying in a low tone.

"Yes. You don't have to worry, I'm fine."

"We should still go_"

Her mum was cut short in the middle of her sentence because the monster appeared right at that moment. Her heart fell to her stomach as the memories from yesterday flooded back to her. She tried to still her shaky hands as she took in a deep breath. Their eyes met right at that moment and she watched as his lips widened into a twisted smile. She stared at him unflinching as he sat opposite her. For a long moment no one said anything until her mum moved to serve him. They engaged in small talks while Majekodunmi sat there feeling uncomfortable. She noticed the side glances her mum gave her from time to time, but she ignored it as she continued eating. With every bite she took, she felt nauseasous and it took a lot of effort not to throw up all over the table. When she couldn’t bear being in the same room with him anymore, she walked out of the dining much to her mother’s dismay.

She was about to shut the door to her room when the monster placed his foot in the door. Dread filled her as his face was directly in her line of vision. She was lost for words as she tried to stop him from stepping foot in the room , but she eventually gave up as he was much stronger. She looked round her room trying to look for anything that would protect her against this man but she couldn’t find any.

“You can try to hide but nothing and nobody would be able to save you,” He said as he advanced towards her.

She kept moving backwards and she was starting to feel dizzy but she didn’t want him to notice how weak she felt, because she knew it would only add to his ego so she suppressed her emotions. Her back hit the wall and the monster took her neck in his hands as he pinned her to the wall. Her stomach churned and his heavy breath against her neck made her want to spill all the food contents in her stomach on his face, but she swallowed and remained still. She looked him straight in the eyes this time and the cold look in them made her wonder if he was truly her father. Her mind kept telling her that he wasn’t, as there was no way a father would think to abuse his child, but deep down in her heart she knew that his seed had produced her.

He applied more pressure to her neck as he said, “If you ever utter a word about whatever happened last night, I’ll bury you alive. Mark my words."

That was the last thing he said before he unwrapped his hand round her neck and left the room .The pain that settled deep within her after those words was worse than making contact with the wall. She felt empty as she stood there. Words eluded her as she dropped to the floor and let out a loud scream.

The monster had finished preaching by the time she got out of her head. The congregation had dispersed and she stood waiting as he shook hands with the other pastors. Her mum followed closely behind as she tried to keep up with her high heels.

Soon enough, they were on their way home. The car was filled with protests from her mum about how fast the monster was speeding as he tried to justify his actions. Everything escalated and they began their usual argument. Amidst the noise, Majekodunmi looked out the window and revelled in the fresh wind that blew through her hair as she tried to block them out.

Despite the traffic, they were home in no time and Majekodunmi retreated to her room without a word to her parents. Night came quickly and she got ready for bed. She kept turning in bed as she willed herself to sleep but her eyes were wide open as she tried to keep her demons at bay. After a while, sleep crept in and she gave herself fully to it.

She woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of her door opening. Her eyes were still foggy from sleep but she noticed a dark figure standing in the corner.

“Who is there?” She asked as she moved to stand up from the bed.

The figure advanced towards her and dread filled her. With shaky hands, she reached out for the switch beside her bed, so she could turn on the light and she saw that it was the monster. His chest was bare and the only cloth he had on him was a short. He sat on the bed and gave her a wide smile as he stretched his hand to touch her cheeks but she jerked away and ran towards the door.

Meanwhile, he sat there watching her. To her dismay, the door was locked and she turned to see the keys dangling in between his fingers. She pulled at the door handle again but to no avail. She let out a loud scream but he placed his hand over her mouth and dragged her to the bed. Her legs flailed in the air as she struggled to get away from him but he eventually overpowered her . She moved to stand up from the bed but he hit her across the face, and she dropped down in an instant as he pinned her hands over her head.

This time she didn’t struggle as he ran his hands down her cheeks, but she closed her eyes and turned away from him. He placed his mouth over her neck as he inhaled deeply. Then, his hands went to the middle of her legs. She tried to kick him but he held her down with his weight, his belly pushing into her side. She was getting weak and tears had gathered behind her eyes but she held them back, because she didn’t want him thinking he had won. He placed his legs in between hers as he tore her gown open. The buttons flew all over the place as he pulled his shorts down his legs. This time she didn’t protest as she let him have his way with her. She felt pain as he moved inside her, his mouth went to her breasts as he grabbed them roughly. This went on for forever and she didn’t think he was going to stop, but after a few minutes he rolled to the other side of the bed. His breathing was so loud that she was surprised that his heart had not popped out of his chest.

When he had caught his breath, he adjusted his shorts and walked to the door. She felt numb as her eyes followed his footsteps. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door to see her mother standing in the doorway with her mouth wide open. From the look on her face, Majekodunmi knew her mother was aware of everything that had happened. The monster paused for a moment not saying anything and she could tell that he had not expected to see her mother. After a few minutes, he walked away and her mother stepped into the room. She felt ashamed and quickly grabbed her blanket so she could place it over her naked body. Her mother sat down beside her and stared at her for a long moment. She recognized the familiar look of pain in her eyes and she wished she could wipe it off her face. Unfortunately, the monster who had caused the pain didn’t care at all.

Although, she was worried about what her mother had to say about this, at the same time she felt a bit relieved that her mother had caught him in the act because she was sure her mother would support her and help report to the police but the words that came out of her mother’s mouth dashed her hope.

“Majekodunmi, I hope you haven’t told anyone about this,” she asked as she moved to take her hand in hers.

“No, why do you ask?”

“Don’t tell me you do not understand what I’m saying.”

“No, mum. I do not understand.”

“Majekodunmi!"

Right then, she realized what her mother wasn’t saying and her heart fell to her stomach. All the unspoken words could be seen in her pleading eyes as she held her hands tighter.

“If people hear about this, it would bring us shame most especially your father, so for our sake you need to keep your mouth shut.”

She pulled away from her as resentment rose up in her. How could she say that after seeing what her husband had done? It was appalling to say the least. Even till now, her mother only cared about protecting their image instead of her daughter’s dignity and at the thought of that she felt sad for herself but more so her mother, because she knew she would always stay hidden under her father’s shadow because she had failed to build a mind of her own. Now, she knew she had no other choice but to keep shut and live with the trauma for the rest of her life because her mother would never stand up for her so without protesting she said, “I understand.”

Her mother left the room but she knew those two words which she uttered had created a bridge between her and mother forever.