JADESOLA~~

"Oh oh. Who took the money I kept here. Not this morning again". Funke said as she searched through her ghana must go bag for the umpteenth time. She looked pissed already. "Ah. I hope its not Baba Moji. That useless man has started again".

The truth is that I had seen Baba Moji in the room earlier this morning when we had all gone to queue at the public toilet. In this face me I face you building where I live, if you're not smart they will outsmart you. We have to wake up early in the morning like 4:30 to bath and even at that time self like two people would have been fighting for the toilet. This morning it was Iya Wura and Mama Chima. Those two cat and rat. One will surely kill the other if they are not careful. I know its Mama Chima that will kill Iya Wura las las. All the Yoruba woman knows how to do is make mouth, but hehe Mama Chima na confirm Igbo woman. She'd surely break Iya Wura's head one day.

Funke hissed as she sat down on the bed, putting her hands close to her eyes. She sniffed. "Funke.. Don't cry". I said, moving closer to her.

"I should not cry?. Jade, you know how this money is so important. You know that na". She said. Yes, I am well aware Funke has really worked hard for it. She had fried Chinchin yesterday and we took it round the neighborhood just to get that money. And now, its gone. I should have knew that man was up to no good when he pretended to take his radio, when I came back from the toilet. And its not that he wants to use the money for something reasonable o. I'm very much aware that any moment from now, you'd see him with his Alomo bitters abi Chelsea.. Shepe, abi what do they call it.. Ologogoro oshii. I just so much have the urge to kill him most times. All he does is steal our money. Useless man. 

"How will we do it now?. Its six thirty. We really need that money". She continued. "Today is your first day in Princes and Princesses College. You need transport fare and at least you should have 200 naira with you. And I also have to go to work. Ah olorun, this oloriburuku man took all my two thousand naira. Alaye baje oshii. Man that will soon die". She screamed.

"Language Funke". I scolded my elder sister. I always do that when she curses. Wo, Funke and curse are like 5&6. We both looked at our Younger sister who was busy eating the leftovers from yesterday. Eba and Ewedu. She really didn't give a damn that the Eba was now very strong. Instead, she gushed it down and was now even licking the plate. I smiled at her. "Moji, hope you're bellefull". She nodded, licking her hands and mouth. Moji and food are also 5&6. As for me, I am 5&6 with books. I love reading. 

In this room of ours, A bed, a mat, a television that's no longer working, a table and two plastic chairs, tattered carpet and there's books. Baba Moji had wanted to burn them all one day. Omo, if too say he had tried it, I am very sure that would had been his last day on earth. Cause I'd have burnt him with all his ogogoro bottles.

Funke stood up. "C'mon Moji. Wear your shoe and go to mama sheriff's room. Once you're there, You should... ". Funke stressed her words waiting for Moji to reply them.

"I should be careful and I should not beg. If Mama sheriff gives me food I should pray before I eat it". Moji replied. 

"And?". Funke asked again.

"And I should not play rough in school. If I come back home with a dirty uniform, you will beat me". I literally smiled at my Five years old younger sister. She's just so cute and smart. Trust me, she's way smarter than a five years old child should be. Its because its still morning and she's scared of Funke. Once its evening time and Funke is not yet back from the school she's teaching in, Moji goes ear deaf. Playing rough with sheriff and the other kids of her age in the building. Wo, like I care. By that time self I'm either engraved in my textbook or novel. Its better she plays away her sorrow cause if she doesn't play then she'd whine about the fact that she's hungry and most times there's not always any food at home.

"Oya go. Goodbye my love and be well behaved o. If Mama sheriff complains about you. You'll be flogged". Funke smiled. She would really be a great mother in the future.

"Okay at Aunt Funke. Bye bye Aunt Jade". She said, running out.

Funke looked at me. "I will be right back Jade. Make sure you're fully dressed cause time don go o". And before I could ask where she was going, she left.

I'm sure she's about to go ask Iya Wura to borrow her money again. And that woman would first talk about how bad she feel so sorry for us, or how bad our step dad is and also curse our mother before she borrow us the money. And she'd also go and tell everyone about how she's the one helping us most times. Jeez, I really don't like that woman but what else can I do. I really have to be grateful. Despite the fact that all she does is gives and tell, she has save our asses countless of times.

I picked my favourite dress from my ghana must go bag. Its the only cloth of mine that hasn't faded and doesn't have a hole yet. Trust me, all these rats in this building are Zombie rats. The way they'd do wonders to your clothes and books ehn. The day I'll catch one of them, eh eh, I'll tie it around the window and flog it mercilessly before I now use pin to destroy it's bumbum. Ah, eku yé ma jiyaa. The rat will suffer seh and nobody will save it.

I combed my precious virgin hair and bound it into a dough. Its the only precious thing I possesses. I put all my old books in my new school bag. Funke had gotten it for me with a new shoe last week. 

What would I do without Funke in my life?..

I pray God bless her for me. Even when I asked her where she got the money, she just ignored. She had really tried her best to make me look good on my first day. And that reminds me..

My first day....

Have been really trying not to think about it but now, I feel so nervous. Ah. First day in a new school. Not only that, in a rich man's school. Mogbe.

Princes and princesses college is one of the biggest school in Ikeja. Wait, did I just say one of?. Silly me.

P and PC is the biggest. I had literally gone mad when I found out that they had accepted me. Me, Jadesola Babadunni. I won the scholarship.

Eh eh. Their fada... 

I won't be paying for my Waec and Neco. Who dey breathe?. I say who dey breathe?. Like do you know how many people did that scholarship exam?. We were plenty and damn me, Jadesola Babadunni beat their asses down. I say e choke!. I laughed at my own thought.

"Oya Oya... We are late". Funke said as she entered, grabbing her bag. Then she looked at me smiling. "Fine girl". 

"Eii Funke. Kaii... I'm blushing". I joked.

"Ode ni e". She said as we both laughed. "Alaye get out of the house jhor".

I grabbed my bag and we both exited the house. "Odaabo o". Iya Wura said as she stopped washing her clothes to look at us. "And you Jade, Shey omo jeje o. Be the good kid you're". 

Eh eh.. Did that just came out of iya wura's mouth?.. 

"Eshey ma. Odaabo". I replied, walking out of the building with Funke. "What has gotten into Iya wura this morning?. I hope Mama Chima hasn't broken her head. Cause it seems the few organs in her head are working properly today". Funke just laughed out, hitting me playing. We both stopped laughing when we saw Baba Moji coming down the street, towards us. I can tell Funke is not going to take it easy with him. And if Funke starts ehn.. Eh eh.. Trust me, even if its rain down fire, she still won't stop. I murmured to her. "Funke, please just ignore him. Please".

She hissed as he passed us. "Ole oshii. Thief". 

Oh no.. Here we go this morning.. On the street of Oshodi...

"Ki lo so niisi. You this witch. Ma taa simi laaro yi o. Don't just face me. Ajé omo". He said, turning to leave. Funke was prolly about to attack him but I held her hand. "Funke.. Please".

She looked around, people had began to watch. They were totally expecting one of our dramas again. She mouthed, "I'm sorry".

I thought my morning would go smoothly after that, but this is Nigeria, the hell I'm living in. Nothing can ever go smoothly on the roads of Nigeria. Before we could see bus ehn.. It's Monday and everywhere was crowded. Being the smart person Funke is, she managed to fight her way for us to get into the bus. In the process sef, someone had mistakenly hit my stomach.

When we got to Ikeja, it was already some minutes to the school assembly time. We had to trek to St Michael Estate and there it was.. Princes and princesses in its glorious wonders.

Omo.. See storey buildings. This is the second time I was going there and I was still as amazed as the first time. We entered into the small gate while luxurious cars passed through the big gate. The gateman welcome us in and told us to go to the reception.

When we got in, the receptionist eyed us. She had a scowl on her face. "And how may I help you?". She asked with a disgusting look.

Look at this woman o, abi Lady. Who does she think she is. Receptionist and she feels she's sitting on the whole world... Lori rotating chair. Werey.

I was about to answer her sarcastically when Funke beats me to it. She knows where her own craziness stops is where my own begins. I really hate it when people look down on us like we are some sort of trash.

Na money we no get o, we no kill person..

"She's a new student. She won the scholarship". Funke faked a smile. I know she's really trying all her possible best not to grab the line-line telephone that's close to her and slamming it on the lady's head.

"Oh okay. You can sit over there. The vice principal would soon attend to you". She said pointing to the seats across us. 

"When exactly would he be here?". Funke asked checking her wrist watch. She's late for her work. She's teaching at one primary school back in Oshodi. She just followed me here cause its my first day.

The receptionist hissed. "You heard me madam. The vice principal would soon attend to you". Omo. This were lady did not just talk to Funke like that. My sister took a deep breathe. I know she's really trying to avoid a scene here. This lady did not know what she just signed up for. Funke that I know.. She might decide to double cross this werey girl outside at night and beat the rudeness out of her and also feed her sand.

"Funke, you need to start going". I snapped her out of whatever she was thinking. I know whatever her thought is has to do with the funeral of this lady seated at our front.

"No o jade. I'll wait. Let's go sit".

"Funke, you've had queries. I can't let you lose your job. Please. C'mon I'll be fine. Nobody will bite me". I said that to Funke but I was busy glaring at our lady receptionist. "And you know whosoever steps on a Babadunni's tail must surely get its venom".

Funke laughed, dragging me over to the exit. "Jade be careful. Remember why you're here and how you got here. Please be very careful. Don't fight o. Jade don't fight o. Remember you have to face dark clouds for stars to allign. Shey omo jeje". She hugged me. "Bye". 

I watched her go till she was no longer there. It's just me in this damn big school and still me fighting the urge not to go back and hit my school bag on the receptionist. I didn't realise I was still at the exit door till I was shoved from the way. It was two guys that had entered. The one that had hit me off the road was on uniform while the other was in his house wear just like me. Before they could get to the receptionist desk, I found myself saying. "You're blind abi?". They stopped on their track immediately as they both turned back to look at me.

Omo.. Two fine specimens.

"What did you just say?". The one in uniform asked. Kaii.. See accent o.. He's so fine. Uniform so neat and ironed. Even his shoes were well polished, black and shining. But then, he could have just said sorry but no.

"You heard me or are you also deaf?". The problem is that,, I no dey hear word.. Funke just adviced me like what?.. Not up to five minutes ago.

Another girl entered the big office as she went to lurk her arms around the uniform boy. She's also in her uniform.

"Timini, I missed you. Omo, it was like the three weeks break would never end". The girl whines. Her accent is also good. Chineke.. She's pretty too. Dark skinned with pink lips and her long hair was braided in a shukwu hairstyle. She traced the uniformed guy's glare to me, taking a good look at me from my head to toe. "Who's she?". She asked the so called Timini as she eyed me.

"Are you asking me?. Ask her. Cause I don't know where she appeared from. Probably one of those horror movies you are used to watching Akin". He laughed as he poked his friend in house wear.

Wait.. What?. 

Me.. Horror movie.. Ahh.. This is so not happening on my first day here in Princes and princesses college.