I'd like to tell you about something I’ve learned about life. I’ve learned to not always expect rewards from people.

We all have desires for rewards, regardless of who we are or where we are in life. Many of us cherish so dearly, even as little as a “thank you”. We want to always be appreciated, as it should be.

Growing up, I used to anticipate being gifted and recognized for a wonderful thing I did. Compliments and praises, even when I did nothing in particular, would often make me instantly giggle in excitement. Then, whenever someone from my house was stepping out, after bidding them goodbye, I’d back up my greeting with “don’t forget to buy something for me", most of the time. Whenever they jokingly asked me why, I’d respond and say “Because I’ve been a good girl, of course”. They would chuckle and ask me what I wanted because, really, their last born was a good girl.

I didn’t stop being a good girl, either. I tried my best to maintain my good behavior because I loved all the gifts I received so much and couldn't bear the pain of losing them. It took a while for me to realize that there were more advantages to being a good child than the gifts and praises I received. There’s always more.

When I was younger, I used to get rewarded whenever I was among the top students in my class at the end of a test or examination, both at home and in school. I cherished those moments a lot, even in times when all I got from my parents were just hugs and praises. I always yearned for the appreciation and recognition I received.

There is a hilarious experience from my childhood that cracks me up. I remember there were times when I didn’t mind doing the dishes for any of my older siblings, even when I wasn’t supposed to.

Initially, I’d eye them scornfully and blatantly disagree whenever one suggested; no amount of begging or pity face would do for me. I’d whine and threaten to dash to my mother’s room to report them because they were stressing me too much. Then they will call me back and beg more profoundly, without forgetting to ask for what I’d like in return. “Now you’re talking”, I’d beam in my head. After settling me, one would find me in the kitchen doing the dishes with all joy, despite the fact that I always frowned whenever I had to do the chores. I found more pleasure in doing the chores in the house when there were rewards attached to them. The rewards could come in the form of money, adding extra meat to my food, allowing me to play games on any of their phones for a while, or letting me handle the remote control for as long as I pleased that day. These things were very special to me, and since I never got them very often, I always had to indulge. If you’ve been there too, I’m pretty sure you can relate.

I’m sure you’ve been in situations where, just by thinking about what you’d get in return for doing something, you’re spurred—talk about a driving force!

It’s in human nature to always expect rewards, so I think it’s very normal, and even in our subconscious, we’re always thinking of how one thing or another can be beneficial to us. We expect that for every pleasant thing we do, we should be rewarded.

Receiving rewards can be a huge driving force for doing something; you’d agree with me, but I’ve noticed that it is not always the best, judging from things I’ve witnessed.

What happened to just doing good and being kind simply because we think it’s good and we want to do it? Why expect to get rewarded with a handsome amount of money or wealth because you did someone good and the person happens to be a rich acquaintance or friend? Why feel vexed when such person rewards you with a simple “thank you” instead of giving you a tangible gift or money? We can liken this to an unnecessary entitlement. Why attach a price to your loyalty or obligations?

Sometimes too, even in our relationship with the Father, God, we expect to get instant answers to those prayers, simply because we’ve prayed so hard and we think we’ve been a good servant to him. We have been working and praying very hard to get that car, that job, that college admission, that promotion, and more, but they don’t seem to be forthcoming. We become worried and bitter. I think what’s basically causing the bitterness is our blindness. The blindness of you and I!

We are ignorant of the fact that sometimes what we think should be our reward is really not our reward. A reward is not always what we think it is.

You’re alive, not by your might. You’re not lying in a critical state in the hospital. You have a great family, and you live a good life. You are in the right state of mind to even think about and aspire to get those material things you want. They may not mean enough rewards to you, but to me, I think they are worth appreciating!

Sometimes, we hardly even notice the little things that are pleasant in our lives. Like good family and friendship circles, good health, an abundance of food to eat, and so on. These are rewards too! Even though you worked your ass to get that thing you desired but it didn’t turn out in your favor, you have a life, my friend; do you have an idea of how much that counts?

Regarding compliments, when you don’t receive as much as you want, don’t allow your self-confidence to crumble just because you think you slayed in a look but some people don’t think you really killed it. They are probably seeing even beyond your gorgeous looks and outfits but aren’t talking about it, or maybe they are, but you don’t pay attention because it’s not to compliment how fabulous your looks and outfits are, so you disregard it.

I hope that henceforth we stop attaching too much of our thoughts and emotions to rewards.

I think we should not always allow the rewards we’d receive to be our only aim for doing something (well, except it’s our reward in heaven).

If it’s about offering to do extra chores simply because of the gifts you’d get in return, just like younger me, I think that’s still cool. 

In life, we reap what we sow, and since we’re always sowing, we'll always reap in the end, regardless. By the order of things, for everything we do and for every good seed we sow, we'll definitely be rewarded sooner or later, here or in heaven.

You wouldn’t abandon your human obligations when the rewards aren't in clear sight, would you?

 So, you see, rewards should not always be a driving force for doing something.

Keep doing what you have to do; keep being a good and kind person without thinking of how you will be repaid by people. Do it because you’re human, and goodness will definitely follow you.

Do it without considering whether you will be thanked or not, because there is a greater reward than the validation of men.