You always leave the office to have lunch with your boyfriend anytime he is in town. It's easy because the restaurant is just down the street from your office in Bariga, and it’s one of the few ways to spend time with him since he is always busy. 

You get to the restaurant before him, Walk down to your usual spot, and say a quick prayer "God, please, rereoluwa should not cancel this date." You took out Yejide Kilanko's "Daughters Who Walked This Path" to pass the time while you waited for him. You've barely read a paragraph when you hear a voice  

"Hi," 

You paused for a second then glanced at him as you neatly folded the page you were reading. 

"Hi" you flash a smile that you hope is polite and non-flirty 

"Waiting for your boyfriend?" He asks

"Why?" 

"Cos, on a scale of one to ten, you are a hundred and I'll gladly receive any beatings or blows that your jealous boyfriend brings my way," He gives you a charming smile, pulls the chair opposite you, and sits 

You chuckled. You took your time to size him up. He was putting on a pink sweatshirt. "What reasonable guy wears a pink sweatshirt on a sunny afternoon in Lagos," you say to yourself. He had black durag on, and thick musk of Arabian cologne billowed from him. It’s not too much, but enough for anyone this close to him to tell. Clearly, he is used to being checked out by chicks, the ones you hate to give attention to.

"Yes, I'm waiting for my boyfriend, and" you paused ”you don't want him to meet you here cos, na soldier guard room you go sleep o" 

He laughs. 

"When Teni sang "Case", we were her muse, cos, for your case, I go sleep prison. Anything for your beautiful" 

You laughed. "I pity--" you were unable to complete the sentence when you saw rereoluwa striding towards you. You noticed his countenance. He wears a hard face. The one he wears whenever he is angry. Judging from the two years you've spent with him, you know it has to do with the guy sitting in front of you. 

"Oga, if you like yourself, just pack your things and leave. Abeg, just go" 

He noticed the change in your tone, the fear in your voice, and how uneasy you became. He wanted to say something- ask for your number- but you shouted " Oga, respect yourself and leave," you gave in a scornful look. Deep down you apologize for being such an ass.

"Guy, you heard the lady naw," rereoluwa says. He didn't let the stranger leave before he gave you his "you are dead" look. 

There is a familiar kick in your chest because you know whenever he gives that look, you are in trouble. You didn't want to get beaten again. You wanted to tell him that it's not what he thinks, that the stranger was only being nice, and that nothing out of the ordinary happened. You didn't even get his name. Instead, you whispered. "I'm sorry" 

"Ashawo one Kobo, that's what you are. Slut! He hissed. 

You wanted to be bold for once, look him in the face and challenge him, warn him never to judge you with your past. After all, yesterday's mistakes are not today's concern. You wanted to walk out on him, but you were filled with regret. You regret that you'd told him that your mom, in her pursuit for greener pastures ended up in Italy as a sex worker. She left you with your grandmother when you were four and whether she is dead or alive, you don't know. Not like you care anyway. You regret telling him you started having sex when you were twelve. It started with your cousins, and then with every stranger you meet. This is because you were always horny, as a result of your exposure to porn. You regret telling him that when others have love at first sight, you have fuck at first sight. But you've been going through therapy, and they've been an improvement. 

You return yourself to the present. You try to hold his hand and apologize again, but his hands hit you first. A slap. "Don't you dare touch me, you slut," he stood up and walked out. 

The world froze for a minute. You then snap yourself out of what he had done. With your hand still on the cheek he slapped, you look up to faces staring at you - Some look away as you lock eyes with them, and some put their phones away. Rereoluwa had given them a gist to share with their loved ones when they get home. Embarrassed, you trudged out of the restaurant to the parking lot. 

...

You waited three days- the usual time you wait- for rereoluwa to come back to his senses and apologize. This time, it's on a Sunday. You sit in your bedroom wearing an oversized T-shirt and panties. You expect him to come in anytime since his obsession made you give him your extra key. You keep yourself busy with your diary. 

Hi, Buddy,

It's been a while since we had a proper discussion, but I don't know why I feel this way, why I'm already timid in front of rereoluwa. His obsession turned love is killing me. Swears, I blame my therapist for everything that is happening to me right now. She says I'm the kind of woman that comes with a disclaimer and that when I'm thinking of exploring a relationship, I should start with being honest, to avoid disappointment and future regrets, but I'm regretting already. I feel like I always win the lottery of bad luck. His name is Rereoluwa, God's goodness. I mean, if people's names truly affect them and the people around them like my grandmother had told me when growing up, then Rereoluwa and I should have nothing short of goodness. I'll probably talk to Nusrah in our next session. I just hope she comes back from her family function soon. I have to...

As you expected, He came in and made his way to your room. You quickly hide your diary because seeing it means another round of beating and apology after three days. 

"Babe, I'm sorry" 

You made to say something, but he cut you. 

"I know. Babe, I know. I know I promised to be a better person. I promised not to lay my hands on you again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I treated you the way I did, I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I sincerely am. I love you so much. Things will change." 

"Okay" was all you could whisper. You decided to leave many things unsaid, like how you want him to visit a psychiatrist because you are sure that he needs help, how you are tired of these three days' apology, and how you are unable to socialize because of his insecurities. You let it all out in tears. Touched and oblivious to the reasons behind your tears, he joined you in tears. 

"I'm sorry I'm making you cry again, I'll turn this into tears of joy, I promise" 

Deep down, you know nothing will change. You are trapped in his prison, and there is nobody to tell. You accept the fact that this is a reward for what you did when growing up. it's God's way of punishing you. The beating is an easy secret for you to keep anyway, Rereoluwa is careful enough to avoid getting you bruised. 

Adigun Peter.