Picture this, or rather picture me. Younger, slightly chubbier cheeks, unruly hair and the excitement of a six-year-old. I have a secret to tell, and I have to tell it to someone.

It is raining, we are all huddled up together in our classroom and our teacher has left us to our devices of childishness.

That day, I experienced my first heartbreak. It came forward as a lie, an unprovoked accusation, the unforgivable sin of betrayal done and in the shape of a wooden plank on my bum in front of the entire Primary 3B.

His name is Edward.

I remember his face well as it was then, flawed perfection. His complexion - what Nigerians would describe as a narrow escape from albinism. If you poked Edward's cheek even a little, he would turn red immediately. He had a bright smile that I now realise was just a cover for his mischievous ways. His dirty lying ways.

I say to Edward, I have a secret.

Secrets are a burden, I need you to know what I know so I feel better.

OK, tell me.

I have to whisper it into your ear.

I leaned in and just about that time, he turned to face me and like magic, my lips were on his cheek and the gates of hell, where all lies emanate from were gently opened, with a gasp and dash of mischief.

I have always been awake and aware, you see. I apologised immediately.

Of course, I did not mean to kiss you without your consent, Edward, it was supposed to be a simple gossip but you are a restless child and just could not sit in place.

I'm sorry.

Right next to me is Uwana. He came through the open gates, Lucifer's prodigy and property.

Children are a viscous determined bunch.

I will tell Aunty Teacher!

It was a mistake, I wanted to tell him something in his ear.

His ear or his lips? Ah!

Lips? I touched his cheek with my lips. The cheek on his face, Uwana.

I did not even leave my lips on his face for more than 20 seconds.

A scandal, a dent to my reputation, In their eyes, I am a young whore with no decency and respect.

I will tell Aunty Teacher!

I called his bluff and that was my mistake. Uwana was now more determined to spread a lie than he was to pass his exams.

He went ahead to tell Aunty Teacher the minute she walked back in.

Aunty! Love kissed Edward!!!!

Legend has it that I kissed Edward on the lips, it was my word against the owner of the lips. You would think my friend would defend me and tell the truth.

I'm warning you, the truth will not set you free. You will be thrown to the devouring scolding of your class teacher, mocking laughter of your classmates, and the sly smile of your accusers, now your sworn enemies till the final trumpet is blown.

I said I did not know what the lips of a boy feel like but Aunty Teacher did not believe me. She emphasised with rage that I had grown wings and I whored myself out to the boys of Primary 3B.

Who told you a girl kisses boys first? Who told you a girl kisses at all?

She took one leg of a chair, held my pretty uniform by the tail and beat the prostitution out of me.

I screamed. My heart was broken by this betrayal. How dare they? How dare Uwana?

In his blind jealousy, bet he wished I had chosen to whisper the secrets to him instead.

How dare Edward support such treachery? A coup! My government of love and gossip toppled over by my very own cabinet.

I wonder where Uwana is now. My defender.

This was my first heartbreak, my first plate of breakfast, steaming hot from the pits of hell where all lies emanate forth.

With Love,

Love.