My husband buys me flowers every weekday that ends with a ‘Y’; almost as if he has the purchases automated.

They come accompanied with cards that read out sweet notes, in a different colour each time.

He sends me a shopping voucher every other weekend, with an almost infinite spending limit, 

And I get to dine at the most exclusive restaurants and bars after every long day. At this rate, I’m a regular at all of them.

My vacations are countless, passport books getting filled faster than I get my hair done, one would think I’m actually being chased by something,

And Much to the admiration of others, we’re the perfect couple, the standard of relationships, with googly eyes and audible applauses and comments from friends and strangers.

In a matter of years I have become the object of envy and a yardstick to the girls around me, the girls who like my posts online and even mothers, who wish the same luck for their daughters, praying for them to have the type of life I do.

I must admit I live an extravagant life, the life you only see in the movies and of princesses, all courtesy of my loving husband who doesn’t bat an eyelid when it comes to showering me with the world. It’s become so regular to hear other girls say, ‘I want what she has’. — You would agree, I won the marriage lottery if you didn’t know —  

Behind every bouquet is an added mile across the room in the house we share, with notes that come in different colours but all read “I’m sorry” at the bottom, after the custom message. 

Every shopping voucher affords me the finest clothes that cover my scars and the makeup that conceals them.

Every late hour spent at a fine restaurant is to while away time from the loneliness and echoes in my castle,

And every vacation signifies the number of times I’m told that I just need some space and time away to forgive him because I can’t possibly leave my husband; what will others say?

For every like on our perfect pictures, there’s a like on yet another girl’s picture and an added hour to his “very busy schedule”.

I’m sure you get the full picture of the story I’m telling here and I know what you’re thinking by now, but I promise you it’s not as easy as it seems. 

I can’t reveal my plans to you, because I don’t know who you are and I can’t promise you won’t tell.

I’ve chosen to bask in my delusional fairytale till the day comes when I can take that stroll to get some air.

I think about this day a lot and the thoughts alone have created a mental clock that’s ticking loudly, loud enough I get lost in it sometimes.

One thing though is for sure until then; until that faithful day, my darling, 

This is what I have. You don’t want what i have.